There we have it, Walking Dead fans – another midseason in the books. This time, though, the break just doesn’t feel right. Nothing was really resolved, and nothing exciting really happened. Was that the point? Maybe. Maybe AMC wanted us to sit like puppies waiting for our owners to come home until the season resumes. If that’s the case, a more suspenseful cliffhanger could have been produced. Don’t worry, readers. I have a full list of reasons why last night’s Walking Dead midseason finale was a total letdown.
Sam didn’t die
I can’t recall ever rooting for a child to die, but if for some reason I ever did, it paled in comparison to my will for Sam to die. What a pussy. This world isn’t for the weak, kid. Every time I see him, I just think about how his cowardice is going to cost this group dearly. Not to mention the fact that he’s sporting a bowl cut right out of 1994, hiding upstairs, and letting ants colonize his bedroom. It’s just disgusting.
Keep saying ‘mom’ amidst a herd of 10,000 walkers and see what happens, you frustrating little shit.
Carl didn’t rock Ron’s face
Ron is as bat shit crazy as his dad, and quite frankly, looks like he looted a Hot Topic at the onset of the apocalypse. By now, we all know that unstable people are a constant threat in this world. If you didn’t realize Ron was unstable before, his attempt to shoot and kill Carl was a dead giveaway.
I was begging for Carl to haul off and swing that shovel into Ron’s face. That’s right, into his face. It didn’t happen. Instead, Carl took up for him and lied about what was going on in the garage!
Glenn didn’t reunite with Maggie
WTF, guys. We spend a solid month wondering what had happened to Glenn. We find out Maggie’s pregnant. We watch her torment over finding him. We watch him fight to get back to her. They are within earshot of each other, and nothing.
NOTHING! Throw us a bone here!
Morgan is now my least favorite character
I liked Morgan. I was really rooting for him to pull through his little episode of blindly murdering anyone and everyone in his way. We all go through those little blue spells. I knew that deep down, he was still that man that saved Rick at the very beginning of his journey.
But, bruh – BRUH – you have to know when to step aside. Carol was right – that Wolf had to die. It was the obvious and only solution. We’ve now seen what would happen if ol’ wooden teeth got loose, and guess what – you probably just got a few Alexandrians killed. Rick is not going to be happy with you, Morgan. I can’t say that I blame him.
All things considered, the episode was pretty tense, and admittedly, I had to close my eyes a couple of times out of fear. Namely, I thought for sure I was going to see Walker Deanna feasting on sweet baby Judith.
I love the Walking Dead – this article was largely meant to be humorous, but I think it’s time for me to be serious for a second, because there were three things that really had me tipping my metaphoric cap and pumping my literal fist from underneath my blanket.
Abraham is still in uniform
I just love that Abraham said “screw it” and kept that uniform on and is riding around during the apocalypse in style (though I wonder if the stolen valor people are angry about this). What’s more, in the “post-credits” scene, he gets out of the truck and has this look on his face like “yes – I am dressed like this. Eat shit.”
How did the Saviors let this one go? They probably knew that Sgt. Abraham Ford is not a man to be trifled with.
Deanna went down swinging
There’s a soft spot in my heart for Deanna. She had a respectable vision for Alexandria, without the real world experience to execute her plan. She “got it” as some would say. But, to see her go out on her own terms was awesome.
Negan
Before I go any further, I do want to say: AMC, quit trying to make Into the Badlands happen. It looks like a great show, and I can’t wait to binge watch it now the Walking Dead is on hiatus. Still, don’t make me watch through the first commercial break to see a post-credits scene!
Now, we finally got it. That sweet, savory little nugget we were waiting on – Negan is coming. And, Jeffrey Dean Morgan is going to play him. SOLD.
For those of you who aren’t knowledgeable as to who this character is or why he is so menacing, just wait. This group is in for a shit-storm of dastardliness. Perhaps one of the most talked about incidents in Walking Dead lore is centered around Negan beating Glenn to death with a baseball bat (named Lucille).
Here’s where the speculation gets interesting. No important character has shared a death with the comic version of his/her self. A lot of theories are floating around regarding which character is going to meet Lucille’s wrath in the show – names including Glenn, Daryl, Abraham, Maggie, Carol, and Morgan. I can shoot down three of those names right now.
Abraham
The entire point of Negan killing Glenn in the comics is to emphasize just how villainous the new big bad really is. Glenn is a beloved character that readers have a very strong emotional bond with. Abraham is one of the strongest characters on the show, but he’s yet to really let his guard down in a way that endears him to the audience on such a deep level. Killing Abraham would not have the same emotional impact on viewers.
Morgan
Similar to Abraham’s case, the audience just hasn’t gotten to deeply bond with Morgan. On top of that, he’s feuding with Carol, another of the most intriguing characters. There seems to be a lot of Team Carol members out there that might actually be okay with Morgan getting beaten into oblivion. Again, no real emotional impact.
Maggie/Carol
This is easy – the beat down needs to be shown in order to achieve the full emotional effect on the audience, and AMC simply will not show a female character being bludgeoned to death by a baseball bat – plain and simple.
So, that leaves us with two candidates:
Daryl
For over a season now, I’ve maintained that Daryl has been written in a way to make him less interesting to the audience who seems to obsess over him. It felt like they were trying to detach the character from the emotional stranglehold the fans had over him.
Now, the question becomes whether or not the show runners are willing to call the bluff of the people who say they will quit watching if Daryl dies. I can’t think of a more emotionally impactful loss than that of Daryl. Ultimately, this character has made AMC a lot of money, and I think they play it safe.
Glenn
At this point, wouldn’t it be a swerve if the show stuck with the original source material? Glenn is one of the original Atlanta survivors, his wife is pregnant, he’s endured multiple close brushes with death, and has a deep emotional bond with the audience. Also, people aren’t threatening to riot over his character’s death. I’m just saying – I’m going to go ahead and prepare myself to lose him next spring.
See you guys in February.
Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @PFSpot, @WrestlingNewsCo
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