The release of Captain America: Civil War is looming (May 6, 2016), and if you’re not pulsing with anticipation the way we are here at the SoBros Network, then you may need to check your pulse.
If you are as excited as SoBro Brandon and I are about this movie, then you might want to check your underwear. Brandon is quick to point out the rave reviews that critics are showering the film in. Me? I’m eager for the next installment of the grand Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) for one simple reason: the Black Panther is about to show up and wreck shit.
Some of you reading may already know this from listening to the SoBros Network podcasts or being on the SoBros Network podcasts (hello Brandon, Bill, Roxanne, and Cadbury!), but I’m a huge fan of the Black Panther. Big time – so much so that it actually disturbs my loved ones.
Nonetheless, I’m going to dip my toes here in a bit of a history lesson. However, where Roxanne will give you history lessons on real shit, I’m going to give you history lessons on fake shit…..comic books.
So, let’s dive in with T’Challa, King of Wakanda, aka Black Panther (aka BAMF). First of all, the title of ‘Black Panther’ isn’t some fancy nickname that his marketing team came up with. It’s more like a rank of office – being the Black Panther in Wakanda is roughly the equivalent of being President in the United States.
Still, it’s something that has to be earned through a rite of passage in Wakanda.
If you look on a map somewhere to find this legendary country, you’re not going to have much luck. If you happen to be caught in the act by someone who knows what Wakanda is, they’re probably going to call you an idiot. It’s fictional. It does not exist in Africa, only in the pages of Marvel Comics.
The fact that it’s a fictional nation may make it hard to sell to audiences in and of itself, but that didn’t matter in a comic book written in the late 1960s. Actually, that’s not even half of it. It just so happens a meteorite made of a vibration-absorbing mineral (vibranium – that stuff that Captain America’s shield is made of) crashed down solely in Wakanda, and the country decided to just hide from the rest of the world because that makes sense.
An entire country can conceal its whereabouts to the entire world – sure, why not?
Y’know what though? Those kooky, paranoid Wakandans were right, because some asshole named Ulysses Klaw and his stupid sound engineering hook-hand ended up murdering T’Challa’s papa trying to get to all that vibranium.
Upon his father’s death, it was time for T’Challa to take on the mantle of Black Panther. With that came access to the consumption of some fine ass drugs that gave him superhuman strength, agility, stamina, senses, reflexes, and healing.
Again, this is a drug of Wakanda – don’t go doing meth thinking you’re going to become a superhero. That’s stupid. Nobody wants to see the Meth-head Panther coming to life.
The Black Panther also has the backing of the world’s most elite military technology, and one sure hell of an army. Wakanda is the most technologically advanced nation in the world. With that, T’Challa is armed with innovative weapons that no one else can obtain.
Maybe you’re a little squeamish at the title ‘Black Panther,’ but the title actually predates the Black Panther Party –and- T’Challa is the first African-American superhero to appear in mainstream comics. Boom – CIVIL RIGHTS.
He is largely considered to be Marvel’s answer to DC’s Batman. This hasn’t been officially confirmed, but is a prevalent theory in the comic community.
He holds a special place in the hearts of those who are fed up with Captain America’s goody two-shoes nonsense….
“Oh, that shield’s made of an indestructible mineral that can withstand literally anything? Let me just punch and kick the shit out of it!”
There’s way too much more to go over, so I’ll just recap with some awesome bullet points:
- He banged Storm.
- He tricked the douchebag Fantastic Four losers.
- He absolutely mutilated the Skrulls.
- He kicked the collective ass of the KKK.
- He was guardian of Hell’s Kitchen in Daredevil’s absence.
- He totes was in the Illuminati.
- He earned a PhD in physics from Oxford University. NBD!
- He was once known as “King of the Dead.” #metal
- He’s considered one of the eight smartest people on the planet.
- He’s rich as hell from selling vibranium.
Get hyped, people – you’re about to meet one badass savant.
Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @PFSpot, @WrestlingNewsCo
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