Campus Insiders’ Pete Fiutak is coming in hot with Post-Spring Bowl Projections for 2016-17, and holy shit! Is this early or what!?!? We’re still nearly a month away from Memorial Day. We’re just now celebrating Cinco De Mayo, a completely made up holiday which roughly translates to “5 days into May,” in Spanish.
I don’t want to make it sound like I’m knocking Campus Insiders – they do great work. Man – I just wasn’t ready. I wasn’t looking for this to pop up on my Twitter feed. I was dreaming of Coronas, fajitas, and an uncomfortably crowded Mexican restaurant.
Usually, it’s not college football season until I see Phil Steele’s season preview on shelves. Even then, I’m usually like, “whoa – Phil, calm down, man. I’m still out in my yard waving an American flag for Independence Day.” Just waiting until the dog days of summer before I start thinking about college football. I don’t flip open the first page until my insides are the same texture as burnt ashes thanks to the summer heat in Tennessee.
To me, this is like rubbing one out before a date. You’re too excited to contain yourself, so you just have to get that release in order for you to focus on your performance later. You know what I’m saying? I really hope I don’t have to explain that one to any family members that may be reading this. If that’s the case, I have no idea what it means and I only said it because I’ve heard other people say it (that one always worked when I was a kid, anyway).
But, as Ron Burgundy would say, “when in Rome!”
Let’s break down the highlights:
“There’s no reason to watch college football until December, because this is exactly what’s going to happen.”
Don’t joke like that, Pete. It is 2016, and I venture down Reddit’s futurology page daily. I don’t know what technology you may be in possession of that can allow you to see into the future. I mean – maybe a ‘spoiler alert’ would come in handy. I don’t think I’m going to read any further.
Okay, reading further:
“NOVA Home Loans Arizona Bowl
DATE TO BE ANNOUNCED
Conference USA vs. Mountain West (Backup: Sun Belt)
Arizona Stadium, Tucson, AZ, Campus Insiders
Old Dominion vs. New Mexico”
What the fuck, Pete? You call yourself a journalist and you don’t even know when the 2016 NOVA Home Loans Arizona Bowl is?
Ah – so the people organizing the game haven’t even decided on a date yet. My bad, Pete. Misread that one – that’s on me.
Sidenote: “NOVA Home Loans Arizona Bowl” sounds like one of our Completely Fabricated Bowl Names. Maybe we should start doing those in May! Stephen, you there?
“AutoNation Cure Bowl
Saturday, December 17, 2016
Citrus Bowl Stadium, Orlando, FL, 7:00 ET, CBS Sports Network
American Athletic vs. Sun Belt
East Carolina vs. Georgia Southern”
I really hope this game happens, but more so, I hope that Georgia Southern has not thrown a single passing touchdown on the season entering this game.
“Hawai’i Bowl
December 24, 2016
Aloha Stadium, Honolulu, HI, 8:00 ET, ESPN
Conference USA vs. Mountain West
Middle Tennessee vs. Utah State”
Christmas Eve is one of the very few days of the year when I try to unplug from everything and just enjoy the company of family in the middle of nowhere. I would absolutely love the idea of watching my alma mater, aka The Harvard of the South, MTSU play along with the Titans, on one of my relax days. Sorry, that got really serious and sappy for a minute.
“College Football Playoff
Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl
Saturday, December 31, 2016
Georgia Dome, Atlanta, GA, 3:00 or 7:00 ET, ESPN
CFP vs. CFP
LSU vs. Boise State
Fiesta Bowl
Saturday, December 31, 2016
University of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale, AZ, 3:00 or 7:00 ET, ESPN
CFP vs. CFP
Oklahoma vs. Ohio State
College Football Playoff National Championship
Monday, January 9, 2017
Raymond James Stadium, Tampa, FL, 8:30 ET, ESPN
Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley,@PFSpot, @WrestlingNewsCo
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