I’m in the minority here, but this episode didn’t quite blow me away. A lot of loose ends were tied up, but it feels a little too rushed for my liking. I wanted a little more dark foreboding, definitely some White Walkers, and some sort of major revelation outside of Jon Snow’s parentage being revealed. Anyway, still a lot of talking points to hit out of this episode, so let’s dive in:
1. Jon Targaryen confirmed. So, thanks to Bran, we finally get to see the events from the Tower of Joy unfold in full. Now we know that Lyanna Stark had the son of Rhaegar Targaryen. Knowing that Robert Baratheon was going around killing anyone with the Targaryen name, Lyanna asked Ned Stark to protect the baby. “Promise me, Ned.” Robert was hellbent on wiping out anyone who could lay claim to his throne, but he also believed that Rhaegar raped and kidnapped Lyanna. That doesn’t appear to be true, but still, there’s no way our grand hero makes it to a year old if Robert had known he was half Targaryen.
So, there you go – that’s how even the honorable Ned could father a bastard….in that, he actually didn’t. He made a promise to his sister to protect the boy. The implications of this are massive. Jon now has a claim on being king of…y’know, just about everything in the world. And, with that Targaryen blood flowing through his veins, he just may be able to bond with Aunt Dany’s dragons.
2. Dany is en route to Westeros. The grand finale of season six – Daenerys is sailing to Westeros with a gigantic hammer to drop on King’s Landing. She now has the support of the Iron Islands (minus murderous big dick Euron), Dorne, The Reach, the Dothraki, the Unsullied, and I’m sure I’m forgetting someone. Oh yeah, DRAGONS. Fire-breathing, people-eating DRAGONS.
Who does Cersei realistically have to help her keep King’s Landing? No one (no, not that “No One.” Get your tinfoil out of here).
Nice scene where Dany makes Tyrion the Hand of the Queen, and suddenly, it’s a little dusty in here….my eyes are a tad dry.
3. The Mad Queen? Cersei Lannister is sitting on the Iron Throne, and people are not really pumped about that…including Jaime. She is slowly becoming a maniac the caliber of which we’ve only seen in the Mad King. Will Jaime be the valonqar from Cersei’s prophecy? Signs are starting to point to ‘yes.’
So, on the day she was to stand trial along with Loras Tyrell, Cersei decided to use the enormous cache of wildfire underneath King’s Landing to blow the damn sept to smithereens. Everyone in it a goner – the building completely eviscerated. We get a special up-close look at the High Sparrow’s body evaporating, and I’m damn near devastated that Margaery Tyrell is no more. I can’t even write about it.
Luckily, The Mountain kept King Tommen from going…buuuuttt wait. He left the window open. Tommen never stood a chance in this world – this was the straw that broke the camel’s back, so he decides to leap to his death with all of the confidence of Jeff Hardy jumping off of a 20 foot ladder at Wrestlemania.
Now, all of Cersei’s children are gone, and she’s the Queen. And she looks like Tywin and that’s weird….but anyway, yeah – the prophecy is unfolding.
4. Walder Frey being an asshole finally caught up to him. Looks like all those years of being a real big stick in the mud/tremendous bag of ass breath finally came back to haunt ol’ Walder Frey. What a way to go – Arya Stark returns to Westeros to start crossing names off of her list.
But, it couldn’t just be a simple stabbing. Nope – Arya decided to murder all of his sons, and cook them into the meat pie he was eating. Then, she slit his throat and smiled as he bled out. A tad much, but you know what – Frey probably deserved it.
4. King in the North. I don’t think Jon Snow has ever wanted to be a leader, but he’s a good dude and an excellent swordsman, so it just occurs naturally. Still, when the scene-stealing Lady Mormont stood up and proclaimed him King in the North, and the other houses followed suit, it was absolutely spellbinding. Like it or not, Jon is their King. Let’s hope it doesn’t end the same way Robb being announced as King of the North did.
5. Sam made it to Oldtown. Lots of books! Sam is in Heaven. Why is this important? Well, Sam is there to research the White Walkers and figure out how to defeat them. Pretty important – I also like the theory that the entire ASOIAF story we’re watching/reading is Sam’s recounting and documenting the events.
6. Littlefinger’s motives. He don’t want a piece, he want da whole damn cake. We finally hear a bit of honesty out of Littlefinger – he wants the Iron Throne. His disappointment with Jon being anointed King of the North is more than a tad unsettling, and judging by the look on her face, Sansa’s concerned as well.
Personally, I think Cersei is in the perfect position to help Littlefinger. She can give him the throne, and he can give her an army (KotV) to help fend off the shitstorm that’s sailing her way. Stay tuned.
7. Varys & the Queen of Thorns made Dorne great again. Seriously, I’m terrified of Olenna Tyrell, but I felt like it was a wink and a nod to the audience who has been enraged at the mishandling of Dorne. It was like grandma got fed up with your shit, so she was making sure to put everyone in their place. I loved it. Varys shows up to help secure this super-alliance behind Dany.
8. WTF, Bran? Okay, so when your Uncle Benjen tells you that The Wall is protected by magic, and that he can’t pass through it because he’s half White Walker……don’t you think maybe that’s a good time to tell him about how the mark of the Night King nullified the magic that protected the Weirwood that Bloodraven lived in??? That’s the entire, single reason that they were out on their own in the woods being hunted down by wights. This is a sure sign that The Wall is going to come tumbling down.
Character Power Rankings:
5. Lady Mormont – Little Lyanna Mormont makes her debut on the power rankings. She’s an absolute scene-stealer. She united the houses of the North under Jon Snow, claiming, “he is my King and will be until his last day.”
4. Sam Tarly – Major win for Sam in the finale. He’s finally made it to Oldtown, and the seemingly endless shelves of books will become his sword.
3. Daenerys Targaryen – All the pieces are finally in place, and as Tyrion said, “this is actually happening!”
2. Tyrion Lannister – Tyrion put in a ton of work in earning Dany’s trust and proving himself worthy of being a great asset to her. It finally paid off.
1. Jon Snow – Biggest winner of the entire season – first of all, he was dead at the beginning of the season, and now he’s not. That’s great! But now, he has become the King in the North. On top of that, he’s half Targaryen, has a strong claim on the Iron Throne, and he doesn’t even know it. Props to our boy, he’s the season six MVP.
See you guys next Spring. Winter is here.
Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley,@PFSpot, @WrestlingNewsCo
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