My Feelings on Uncle Verne Getting Slugged in the Face Are Complicated

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POW – right in the kisser! Wow, just….just what a moment in time. What a time to be alive. Verne Lundquist just getting absolutely SMASHED in the face with a live basketball, smack dab in the center of March Madness (shit – do I have to pay money to someone for using that phrase?)!

It happened so quickly, and Uncle Verne was so oblivious, that he didn’t even have time to get a hand up. In that moment, there’s an albeit dark section of SEC fans who inadvertently had a smile creep across their faces.

On one hand, this was cathartic. For so many years now, many of us have groaned and rolled our eyes at ol’ Uncle Verne blatantly missing calls, calling incompletions interceptions, and mixing up names. I know I’m certainly guilty of proclaiming, “I wish I could slug that old man one good one right in the jaw.” Just for him being stupid/blind/old. Yeah, I’ll put that out there. Loverboy Gary beside him, too. God, don’t get me started on Gary Danielson and his stupid dad jokes. Back to chortlin’ Verne as it were.

Yeah – for years, this guy has been borderline intolerable, definitely a laughingstock, but it’s kind of like your jolly old uncle or grandpa. You know he’s going to say some off the wall stuff. You know it’s going to be hyperbole city. But, he’s your grandpa – you have a lot of fond memories with him. You just can’t go around wishing for him to get socked clean in the face – no matter how much racist shit he spits or how many sexist jokes he tells. That’s awful!

The physics of this are pretty interesting, too…I mean, I don’t think a human’s face is supposed to move and jiggle like that. It makes me think Verne’s face is made of pudding. Like, that big round body of his is just a skeleton and some Jell-O contained in skin.

On the other hand, I guess I have to admit the guy did have a pretty remarkable career. I mean, if you watched his final sign off from the Army-Navy game with a dry eye, I’d be willing to say you aren’t human. And, I guess there’s the physical aspect of this to consider, too. Uncle Verne probably can’t take too many of these shots to the head without eating a concussion sandwich and ending up worm food. I think it probably says more about me than it does him – and I don’t want to be known as that guy who roots for old successful people to die through means of basketball.

So, it’s complicated. That doesn’t mean it isn’t fun as hell to watch this clip over and over and over and over and over.

Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, Contributor to FanSided’s Bama Hammer, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley@PFSpot@WrestlingNewsCo@Bama_Hammer

Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork

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