Why I'm a Todd Chrisley Guy

Share This Post

When I first saw the previews for Chrisley Knows Best, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Todd Chrisley seemed like a real extravagant asshat. Just your typical know-it-all reality star, you know? Except, what is this guy famous for?

A lot of reality shows are centered around celebrities. Or, at the very least, they’re centered around people that are actually doing something. You know, the house hunters and all the shit on HGTV. But, Chrisley? What the hell has he done? A flamboyant real estate agent? Give. Me. A. Break.

He was on an episode of Monday Night Raw one week and looked absolutely mortified. I just remember thinking, “how out of place does this guy feel? LOL!”

But, something happened one day. It was a case of the law of averages in action, I guess. Like peppering a goalie in hockey….you just keep firing shot after shot and one will eventually go in. USA Network finally scored one on me.

I’m a huge WWE fan, which you probably already know if you’ve had literally any interaction with me at all. I was writing something one night and just forgot to turn the TV off of Monday Night Raw. So, naturally, I got sucked into Chrisley Knows Best….I laughed. I cried. I learned. And, now…since that day….something incredible happened.

I’m a Todd Chrisley guy.

First things first, I don’t believe any reality television is actual reality. Maybe that’s the cynic in me, but I think all of this stuff is scripted. That being said, what makes Chrisley the enigma that he is is the mystique of the man on our TV screens – whether he really acts like that or not.

My friends find this pretty unbelievable. My type of guy is usually a badass. Dwayne Johnson, for example, is one of my all-time favorite bros. Alpha male Richard Sherman – another example of my type of dude. But, really, I’m just a fan of charisma. I’m a fan of personalities that can take over a room.

It’s not that Chrisley isn’t a badass. He’s just a different type of badass. He’s not going to come out swinging, but best believe that sonofabitch is going to scrap if he needs to scrap. Chrisley seems like a real social engineer, too, and I respect that. He knows how to get the most out of life, truly appreciates the finer things, and has the work ethic to make GSD (moniker for ‘get shit done’) look like a cup of tea. Honestly, he’s about as blue collar as a millionaire real estate agent can be.

And, yes – I’ve gathered all of this just by watching his fake television show roughly 20 times.

He’s also an incredibly sentimental guy. Chrisley very obviously loves his family, and I think there’s something for all of us to learn there. But, most of all, he’s quotable. Seriously…check out some of his finest work:

“We don’t have to agree. If I don’t like it that’s all that matters”.

“You’re sucking hind tit right now.”

“I have Botox. You can’t tell whether I’m tensed up or not.”

“It’s just you and me that are supposed to be walking through the door. Not you, me, and your camel toe.”

“How did you possibly impregnate someone with something THAT small?”

‘Take that damn wig off and wipe off your lipstick. You look like a fox’s ass in pokeberry time.”

“I may be a hater but I’m not a ho.”

The all timer: “You can’t offer me the help I need. This right here is beyond couch time”.

#ClassNotAss

These are words to live by, people.

Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley@WrestlingNewsCo

Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Get updates and learn from the best

More To Explore