In case y’all haven’t heard, Johnny Depp is trying to sue some of his former financial advisers for “gross mismanagement” of his veritable shit ton of money. As the story continues to develop, we’re starting to hear more and more about Depp’s lifestyle and where his money is going. For lack of a better term, it is got-damn astounding.
Johnny Depp has blamed his former business managers for his financial woes saying “If I want to buy 15,000 cotton balls a day, it’s my thing”.
It was the latest salvo in a legal battle over the Hollywood star’s spending that began in January when he accused his financial advisers of “gross mismanagement” and claimed they owed him $25 million.
Two weeks later The Management Group, which handled Depp’s finances from 1999 until early 2016, filed a counter-action in Los Angeles seeking a trial.
You know what – he’s not wrong. But, I would say this. If you choose to spend $15,000 cotton balls a day…like, if that’s a financial practice you consciously elect to follow….you probably shouldn’t be trying to blame other people when your cash well starts drying up. Just saying.
And, hell – no one knows what’s truly going on this situation. But, some of this stuff that’s coming out doesn’t reflect too well on Depp.
Depp was accused by the company of living an “ultra-extravagant lifestyle” and ignoring repeated warnings about his “profligate” spending.
That included that he spent $3 million on a “specially made cannon” from which the ashes of his friend the author Hunter S. Thompson were fired.
In his first public comments on the case Depp said the cost of the cannon had been underestimate and he actually spent $5 million on it.
He told the Wall Street Journal: “Why didn’t they drop me as a client if I was so out of control?
Ah, the old deflection of responsibility trick. This is like a baby saying to its parents, “if they didn’t want me to get fat and develop diabeetus, why did they let me eat nothing but cookies and ice cream for years?” Also, I’m no legal expert, but I would think if they accuse you of spending $3 million on a cannon, it’s probably not a good look to come out in your FIRST PUBLIC COMMENTS on the case and say, “nah, guys – it was actually $5 million.”
It just seems like the only ‘gross mismanagement’ going on here is Depp’s handling of his shit.
The legal battle has also revealed that, according to the business managers, Depp’s alleged spending included $75 million on 14 homes, including a French chateau, a chain of islands in the Bahamas, and a farm in Kentucky, and having wine flown in at a cost of $30,000 a month.
Depp was also said to have spent millions of dollars on a 150ft yacht and private jet travel, owned 45 luxury cars, and 200 works by artists like Warhol, Klimt, Basquiat and Modigliani.
The 53-year-old Hollywood star was also said to have employed an entourage of 40 staff around the world including full-time personal security, at a cost of $10 million a year.
This is just fucking absurd. 14 homes?!?! FOURTEEN HOMES!?!? Including islands, a farm, and shit? You don’t even have time to spend one month each year in each home! If he wants to spend money like this, there are plenty of ways to get creative. No one needs 14 homes, but just think of the things he could’ve done with that money.
And, no, I’m not talking about helping people. I’m talking like…..buying a fleet of polar bears to domesticate and parade about town. I’m talking about buying a science lab and dedicating it to figuring out x-ray vision. I’m talking about buying five million bouncy balls and simultaneously dropping them from the top of a mountain and just seeing what happens. I’m talking about designing one of those cool hamster balls that the people tour Jurassic Park in in Jurassic World. Fuck it – make a real life Jurassic Park. Create some dinosaurs – do something we can all enjoy, or will reproduce and murderously eat us all.
You get the point.
Also, an entourage of 40 deep? I’m pretty sure some of those people were bought. I don’t mean that he pays them for a good or service – I mean that Johnny Depp has probably literally bought people.
Shit – if he’s looking to blow money, why can’t he call us up? Plenty of investment opportunities here. Our team needs some MacBooks, an actual podcast studio, and about $500,000 so we can all quit our jobs and work to operationalize our business for a year. Contact information below:
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @WrestlingNewsCo
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