The Fidget Spinner Craze Has Reached a Fever Pitch Now That Dudes Are Getting Them Stuck in Their Buttholes

I just bought one of these things two nights ago! Usually, when Old Man Stoney gets in on a trend, it’s too late, and the trend is on its last legs. Not this time – nope, no way. I happened to get in on this trend right as it reached its climax. Now, apparently people love fidget spinners so much, they’re now puttin’ ’em right up their poopers.

I’m going to warn you guys in advance, this sounds super Oniony (satirical), but I’ve looked all over the Internet (three quick Google searches), and I can’t find anything suggesting this is satire….so, fuck it! Let’s roll with it!

Courtesy of Focus Times:

Can’t copy and past their shit, so here’s some screenshots:

I’ve never been to Boise, but you know – it seems pretty far out there. It’s a small town. I’ve heard it’s a cool town, but a small town nonetheless. And, you know – we see it out here in Nashville. The further you get from the city, the more likely you are to encounter some meth heads. Well, with that in mind, there’s probably not much better to do in a small town.

I’d like to say that I would never get so bored that I’d jam some random toy up my ass, but honestly, you never know. You can’t say how you’d act in a situation you’ve never been in. I could be completely transformed by such boredom, then maybe I’d be cramming everything in sight into my butthole. Just don’t know – and I think that’s a reasonable take.

I had no idea buttholes worked like quicksand. You get in too deep and everything just closes in around you with no hope of escape outside of a surgical procedure. Damn. Learn something new every day.

I hope you enjoyed this satire, if it’s satire. If it’s not – damn. Quit stickin’ stuff up your ass if you don’t know how to take it up your ass.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @WrestlingNewsCo

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