Fantasy Warfare: Thor vs. Aquaman

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Yeah, I get it – the “fantasy warfare” concept is played to death on comic book forums all over the Internet. I don’t think many of our readers are fan-boying on Reddit, but I damn sure know we have plenty of super-hero fans and aficionados so let’s just get some water cooler talk going.

Check out the archives: 

Fantasy Warfare: Black Panther vs. Iron Fist 

It’s the return of the Fantasy Warfare column on the SoBros network. Wow, so original.

I feel like I should be responsible and preface this column properly. I’m a bit of a Thor fan. By that, I mean that I think he’s one of the most powerful superheroes in the Marvel or DC Universe. He’s kind of a big deal.

But, it seems like he’s always lost in the shuffle. I know fanboys on the internet love Thor, but I’m talking about the general public. For example, my nephew is four years old – and everything is Batman, Captain America, and Spiderman. Thor would absolutely mop the floor with all of them…but, of course, I’m not going to mention that to my nephew. The rest of the family is in love with Chris Hemsworth, so it’s like no one’s really tuning in to how truly powerful the Asgardian God really is.

You know who gets that treatment on the DC side of this equation? Aquaman. The dude is one of the strongest heroes in the Justice League. But, for whatever reason, it’s all Superman and Batman. So, in this column, we thought, “hell – let’s put these two underrated figures in a ring and let ’em fight.”

When you think about these two heroes, you immediately think about their signature weapons. Aquaman has the Trident that was given to him from Poseidon himself. Thor has his hammer (named Mjolnir). Both are instruments of great power and ability – which is “better” could be a debate all on its own, but I think Mjolnir gets the edge for the wide array of powers it grants upon those who are worthy of lifting it. Even with the trident, Aquaman would have a hard time overcoming Mjolnir’s power.

A lot of people act like Thor would demolish Aquaman mano y mano, but I think they’re pretty equal in terms of skill. Of course, Thor is probably stronger and a little sturdier, but if something were to happen to level the playing field, this would end up a fair fight. A lot would have to happen for it to come to that, though.

Now, in terms of power and ability, Thor does control lightning, and I think it gives him a definite edge in this battle. I’ve read many an argument that this is ultimately how Thor wins. Bell rings, lightning strike, Aquaman’s down. That simple – but if we’re talking about ideal conditions for Aquaman, let’s say this happens in the middle of the ocean. Could Aquaman devise a plan to keep Thor underwater long enough to drown him? It’s an option. I mean, the guy can control basically every living being in the ocean…which brings me to my next point.

Aquaman has been known to hold telepathic powers over creatures outside of the ocean. Thor has demonstrated a resistance to such powers, so I’m not sure how well it would work for Aquaman. That said, the guy’s gotta give it a shot.

The only way Aquaman can realistically win is if he’s able to wield Mjolnir, and can somehow separate the hammer from the God of Thunder. It’s crazy talk, I know – only a select few have ever been able to lift the hammer (shout out to underrated Marvel hero Beta Ray Bill). But, think about the newer age Aquaman – a little rough around the edges…a little more “Godly” than the early, more jovial iterations of the character. It’d take a hell of a plan, but when the time came to pick it up, I think the King of Atlantis would be deemed worthy.

Winner: The lightning theory offers the simplest answer. Occam’s Razor, if you will. This one goes to the vastly superior Thor, but it’s worth recognizing the true power that Aquaman has. Outside of Superman and Martian Manhunter, he’s probably the only character in the DC Universe that can hold a candle to Thor. There’s a lot of similarities between these two characters.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley@WrestlingNewsCo

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