Y’all – We Need to Catch the Motherfucker Going Around Cloning Credit Cards and Stealing Money

Share This Post

Courtesy of the Mount Juliet Police Department:

Mt. Juliet, Tenn. – Detectives want to identify a man that used a cloned ATM card to withdraw cash from someone else’s account. The unknown man withdrew over $800 in cash from the ATM, located at Regions Bank at 4116 N. Mt. Juliet Road, on Monday, April 29, 2017.  The bank’s surveillance system captured the man in the act, and detectives hope someone in the community will recognize him.

If anyone has a feeling that they possibly know the suspect responsible for this crime, they are encouraged to call the Mt. Juliet Police Department at (615) 754-2550. Information can also be given anonymously by calling (615) 754-TIPS (8477) or via the Mt. Juliet Police Department website at http://www.mjpd.org/ .

Several photos are featured on the link above, but we’ve got a real slick piece of shit on our hands. This happened to me a few weeks ago, and I don’t know if this is the same guy, but the fact that it’s still going on is bothersome.

I can’t imagine how they’re doing this – the running theory amongst friends and family is that these scammers have placed skimmers on locations where you swipe your card. They gather the information, make a dummy card, swipe it, and steal everything they can. Of course, this is all just speculation, and you certainly shouldn’t take any sort of criminal justice advice from a dude who runs a shitty comedy blog. The point is that this is a tough one to crack, and financial institutions seem just as confounded as we are.

It’s a shame that people have to resort to this to try and live a comfortable life. Most people have the common decency to get a real job to support their various responsibilities, but I suppose some people will always find a way to mooch off of others. I guess you can’t afford your shitty neck tattoos working low-pay jobs because you’ve never developed a valuable skill (other than stealing from people) in your entire life. Even criminals gotta make ends meet, I suppose.

Luckily, I never keep much money in my checking account. Whoever did this to me only walked away with about $300, but it’s the principle of stealing directly from my bank account. I bank local, so thankfully, they took great care of me immediately. I get a text at 3AM asking if I’ve withdrawn all this money from an ATM somewhere across town – I told ’em it wasn’t me. I was in the office the next morning to dispute the charges and it was as easy as that.

But, that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love to deliver one swift, solid kick in the dick and give the guy my best Southpaw haymaker – maybe even deliver a legitimate Tombstone Piledriver. Alas, I understand there’s a process in place for stuff like this, and if I’ve learned anything from reading comic books, it’s that vigilante justice is typically frowned upon.

Godspeed, police men and women. Hope you get the sumbitch…..or I hope he dies a horrific, shameful death (what?!?! This is a shitty comedy blog – no rules here. I can root for someone’s death if I want to).

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley@WrestlingNewsCo

Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Get updates and learn from the best

More To Explore