The Future Is Now: China Just Fucking Teleported Stuff Into Space

Share This Post

I’ve been keeping a keen eye on China since July 21, 2016, when it was announced that they were on a quest for space gold. Just knew they were on to something, and it looks like I was right. Yep, I’m taking credit for calling this. But, China took a YUGE step forward in quantum physics this week, by sending a photon into outer space.

Courtesy of Business Insider:

Researchers in China have taken the process a few steps further: they successfully teleported a photon from Earth to a satellite orbiting more than 500 km (311 mi) away.

The satellite, called Micius, is a highly sensitive photo receiver capable of detecting the quantum states of single photons fired from the ground. Micius was launched to allow scientists to test various technological building blocks for quantum feats including entanglementcryptography, and teleportation.

Huh? Cryptography? Isn’t that, like, the study of Bigfoot or something? Can somebody break this down in plain English for our readers?

In this particular instance, the Chinese team created entangled pairs of photons on the ground at a rate of about 4,000 per second.

They then beamed one of these photons to the satellite, and kept the other photon on the ground. Finally, they measured the photons on the ground and in orbit to confirm that entanglement was taking place.

It’s worth noting that there are some limits to this technology. Transporting anything large, for instance, is a ways off.

Okay, that’s much better – now you know exactly how to replicate this project. Or, hell – maybe you’re just as confused. I can’t really tell what I’m feeling right now anyway because of this engorged nerd boner I have right now.

I never watched Star Trek growing up – too much talking, in my humble opinion – but, I always knew there was a lot of teleporting. Then, I grew into watching X-Men and Nightcrawler was always one of my favorites. To think that we’re even a shred closer to science fiction bullshit becoming reality is incredibly arousing.

That said, I’m glad China is doing this first. Now, it won’t reflect poorly on anyone else when they try this on a human and it just rips them to subatomic shreds.

Now, of course, the real question here: when and where can I sign up to become this guy?

I’m ready to found the real life fucking X-Men. Maybe that’s what we can use this platform for. I’m going to start taking notes and recruiting people to join the team – requirement #1: be a funny writer. Requirement #2: be willing to become a mutant and fight crime for no pay.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley@WrestlingNewsCo

Shop our store on Redbubble. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork. Listen on SoundCloud. Watch on YouTube.

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Get updates and learn from the best

More To Explore