I developed a strong personal vendetta against Blake Bortles last season. Maybe I’ll get that out of the way so that you know instantly this isn’t one of our #breakingnews #investigativejournalism pieces. I was all in on Bortles last year. I thought the Jacksonville Jaguars were going to make the leap, contend for a playoff spot, and ol’ #5 would be knee deep in all the poon he wanted! That’s why I drafted him to be my #1 quarterback in fantasy football last season.
Well, as it turns out, Bortles had some pretty great numbers. Sure, it was in total garbage time last year because the Jags were always 30 points behind their opponents. But, he successfully made me look like an ass because I was running my mouth to everyone about how awesome he was. I was basically smitten, and I’m not too proud to admit that.
Now, Bortles has become the butt of every bad quarterback joke. I just hide in my shell every time someone mentions it. Like, if I just disappear, no one will remember how adamantly I supported Bortles last season. It would probably be a good idea to not write a blog about it if I really didn’t want people to know. But, I guess this is just me being Honest Stones here….just like my favorite Illini Abe Lincoln.
Nonetheless, I feel even stupider this year hearing that Bortles put on a gut-punchingly atrocious performance on Sunday…
Bortles started camp well, completing 33 of 43 passes (no interceptions) in the first two practices. But then Saturday’s horror show – 12-of-21 passing with three interceptions in team drills and two more in 7-on-7.
Motherfucker! Are you kidding me? How do you throw five interceptions on 21 attempts IN PRACTICE!?!?! By definition, practice isn’t even a real game. What was he throwing at? Did Doug Marrone make him throw the ball with his hand in a boxing glove? Were his feet tied together? How do you throw that many picks?
Well, on the bright side, at least in practice, no matter what, he’s completing passes to his own team.
By practice segment on Monday, Bortles was 6-of-6, 4-of-4, 1-of-2, 1-of-1, 2-of-2, 4-of-4 and 4-of-4.
“I think the first two days, there were some good things that he was doing out there,” Marrone said. “[On Saturday], it wasn’t just one person … but the quarterback needs to make sure the ball doesn’t go to the other team.”
Bortles was not available to the media after practice.
Wow, what great insight from coach there. The quarterback most definitely should not let the ball go to the other team. I believe, at a foundational level, that a quarterback should make sure the ball goes to his team.
But, six perfect series? That’s good. So, everyone, myself included, can have their laughs. Just know that Bortles is the one who gets the last laugh. A nearly perfect day in practice before the games really counts warrants our applause.
Bortles completed his last 14 passes.
So, I guess everyone give it up for Blake Bortles – he’s really righted the ship so far in training camp. The Jags are gonna be contenders! Or, they’ll be a train wreck, and everyone involved with the team will be fired.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @WrestlingNewsCo
Shop our store on Redbubble. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork
