An epic book series becoming a mind-blowing cinematic event is what anyone infatuated with entertainment craves. And we’ve been fortunate to see it a couple of times with powerhouses such as Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. The Dark Tower is not one of them.
This version begins with a boy and his dreams. Jake Chambers (Tom Taylor) imagines a world where a Gunslinger (a stoic Idris Elba) defends a gigantic tower in the clouds because it’s the only thing keeping the darkness out. What can bring it down is a child’s mind. Who knew it was such a powerful thing? And there’s no one rooting more for the tower to fall than the Man In Black (a devilish Matthew McConaughey with an Al Pacino wig). He’s essentially death in a suit with a wicked sense of humor.
Here’s the real kicker: This imaginary world isn’t so imaginary after all. Jake may sound crazy, but he’s far from it. He makes a believer out of all of us when he locates the time portal that beams him in to the Mid-World—a delightful desolation where Gunslinger and MIB have been raging war. Gunslinger’s real name is Roland Deschain and he’s not feeling like himself as of late. He walks as a defeated man, only seeking revenge against Walter for killing his father. Oh, I guess I should tell you Walter is death’s real name. I get why he’s so pissed now.
Walt needs Jake for his “shine”, a psychic ability that brought this world to him and can single-mindedly destroy the tower. This makes our boy-wonder extremely popular. Jake helps Roland in his world, and Roland helps Jake in ours. All of it is in the name of getting the Gunslinger and the Man In Black face-to-face. Their clash is fun with a little showboating from both, their crazy capabilities being on full display. The same can’t be said for the actors.
I’m slightly embarrassed to reveal that I haven’t read a single one of Stephen King’s books. Nevertheless, I feel pretty confident in saying director Nikolaj Arcel’s (A Royal Affair) superficial saga is inspired by King’s Dark Tower universe but not based on it. His adaptation is the foundation of a yarn with no end in sight. I’m sure there’s more to tell in the planned sequels and TV series, but there’s suppose to be something worth coming back for. Sadly, The Dark Tower has a rough time leaving moviegoers wanting more.
Of course, it’s tough to watch any filmmaker waste an unbelievable opportunity by not nearly being aggressive enough with the material, and the consequences of that show through. Putting the pages aside, what I see on screen isn’t a dismal failure, just a hollow attempt at packing some flesh and blood onto the body of an action-fantasy meant to blow our minds. The Dark Tower settles on being narrowly entertaining while having all emotional heft cave-in from the get-go. It’s disheartening for any fan to bare witness to.
Instead of the tower, Roland should’ve been keeping his eye on this debacle. Or his mind, or heart. Whatever.
Brandon Vick is a member of The Music City Film Critics’ Association, the resident film critic of the SoBros Network, and the star of The Vick’s Flicks Podcast. Follow him on Twitter @SirBrandonV and be sure to search #VicksFlicks for all of his latest movie reviews.
Check out the SoBros Shop. Become a Patron. Give us money for no reason. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork. Watch on YouTube.
