Now, before I begin, I will say that if you read too much into this story, it is obviously full of despair and sadness. It will make you feel bad, for sure. But, before you come at me because I’m being insensitive and making light of a sad story, just know that I have taken your complaint, I appreciate it, and have forwarded it to our HR department.
With that said, let’s hit the news, folks:
The latest Metro Nashville Police officer who arrested Robert Dale Brown noted in his report Brown has “a chronic booking history.” And that’s putting it mildly.
Brown, 48, was arrested for the 539th time Wednesday outside a Rosa Parks Boulevard convenience store, charged with public intoxication and criminal trespass. Virtually all of Brown’s arrests have been misdemeanors and, outside of two assault charges, non-violent. Brown’s first Nashville arrest came in 1994, meaning he’s averaged an arrest every two weeks for 23 years.
Shout out to Robert Dale Brown for finding his place in this world. That’s what we all tell our children, right? Find that think you’re really good at and just do it. That’s your life, and that’s your legacy. Mr. Brown here is doing something that many fail to do in their entire lives….he figured it out all the way back in 1994 and has stuck with it ever since. That thing is getting really drunk and getting arrested. But, listen – there are so many people in the world nowadays that it’s going to be hard to stand out at anything you do.
You play guitar? Guess what – there are a million people better than you. You want to be a cook? Guess what – so do hundreds of thousands of innocent people. That’s what’s forcing people to find these incredibly niche talents. For me, I’m actually thinking about becoming the slowest person to hammer a nail into a picnic table. Just gonna get one strike in every morning and eventually, it’ll go in. One day, I’ll be on the news, too. We all have to find that thing.
And, whoa – talk about commitment. For 23 years, Mr. Brown has been doing his thing. By now, he has to be considered the G.O.A.T. of getting arrested in Nashville (move over, Shaun White).
I mean, yeah – sure…you can read into the alcoholism and the unfortunate stigma of mental illness if you want. If you’re upset by that, I would recommend doing what most people do: bury your feelings, turn a blind eye to other people’s problems, and just continue about your day as if you saw and heard nothing.
Sorry for the snark – think I had my entire tongue in my cheeks for that one (that’s what she said).
Brown, who has 56 failures to appear and 25 failures to be booked, was due in court Thursday.
Serious question: more impressive streaks – Robert Brown’s arrest streak or The Undertaker’s undefeated streak at Wrestlemania?
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @WrestlingNewsCo
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