Here at the SoBros Network, we pride ourselves on being your outlet, your escape, and your slice of life. That’s the responsibility we put on our shoulders. We’re a positive group – fully aware that the best things in life come free. The comfort of home. Close friends. Sleeping in. The smell of fresh cut grass. All that mushy gushy stuff.
At the same time, people suck. Life’s unfair. Death and taxes. Animals being shot down in zoos. Racists running for President. Zack Ryder losing the Intercontinental Championship a day after winning it.
“Can’t complain – and if I could it wouldn’t do me any good!”
Bull. Ass. Shit – There’s plenty to complain about, and sometimes, it feels pretty damn good. We’re introducing this new weekly column as a way to vent and maybe provide some sort of cathartic release for all involved.
If you have something to rant about, hit us up on Facebook or Twitter, and we’ll throw you in next week.
Stoney Keeley (@StoneyKeeley)
What better way to start this column than by sharing the absolute quickest way to make my blood boil? I’m looking at you, Starbucks. Every morning, I order a Venti Dark Roast. Every morning, I have to specifically ask you to leave room at the top of the cup DESPITE the fact that I have nothing to add to the cup.
Why?
Because the lids on your cups SUCK. If the glass is full, I either have to pour some out and soak the cup and my hand in the process, or I can sit with a steady single drip of coffee splashing upon my hand, the cupholder, or anything else that the leaky top makes a victim of.
Pretty sure this is a derivative of Chinese water torture.
It is 20-fucking-16. How has this issue not been resolved? I pay for a Venti. I want a Venti. I don’t want three fourths of a Venti, with the remaining fourth splattering about the parking lot.
And on top of that, I’m trying to be a good citizen and not litter, but y’all’s asses have me pouring coffee out all over the concrete. No telling when I’ll get a ticket for that. Maybe arrested. Scratch that – definitely arrested if the coffee activists get a hold of this story.
So, because of your stupid cups, I feel angry and ashamed of myself.
Let’s fix that. At least train the employees so that they can fill a cup adequately.
Thank you for your time.
Rubber Rooster
Last Saturday, my boyfriend and I went to Beauty and the Beast at TPAC. The audience was absolutely terrible, does no one believe in decent audience etiquette?
First, a LOT of people showed up late. If you pay for $50 tickets, get your ass to the theater on time. I can understand certain situations happening outside of your control, but this was way too many people showing up late. Now I get to watch a troop of inconsiderate assholes all file through the tiny rows during the performance. One woman in particular was wearing a giant, puffy, yellow dress.
A grown ass woman dressed as Belle.
And she stopped in the middle of the row to talk to her friend about where they were sitting. Do not stop. Keep walking until you come to the only two empty seats in that row.
Also, anyone that gets to the top of the stairs or enters a room and then stops to block everyone behind you? I hate you. And of course everyone is apparently suffering from tuberculosis. None stop coughing as if everyone in the audience just got down ripping a giant bong hit. Can you at least wait until a loud part to cough or bring a cough drop? I don’t want to catch whatever throat ruining disease you have.
Please, don’t use your phone during a performance in stadium seating, your phone becomes a lighthouse and I will read your texts.
Lastly, don’t sing along. I can’t think of a bigger waste of $50 than listening to a soccer mom’s rendition of Tale as Old as Time while watching the child in front of me play her 3DS.
Whew – that felt good. Remember, to submit your own Thursday Rant, hit us up on Facebook or on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork. See you next Thursday.
