In Shocking News, Eating Four Ham or Bacon Sandwiches a Week Doesn't Cure Asthma

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There’s been a huge blow to those who strongly support eating ham and bacon every day. Apparently, it can actually make asthma worse, or if you don’t yet have asthma, can lead to asthmatic symptoms. Yikes. Hard to believe…

Courtesy of The Independent “A study of nearly 1000 people found those with the highest intake of cured and processed meat were 76 per cent more likely to experience symptoms including shortness of breath and chest tightness which worsened over time than those who ate the least.

Preservatives used in processed meat called nitrates could inflame the airwaves and lead to breathing problems, according to the study published in respiratory medicine journal Thorax….

…The study also suggested a high intake of processed meats could cause asthma symptoms in those who have never had the disease, although it said further research was needed to clarify potential differences related to asthma status…

….information was also gathered on other potentially influential factors, such as smoking, regular physical activity, age, sex and educational attainment.

The researchers used this to calculate that those who ate the most cured meats were 76 per cent more likely to experience worsening asthma symptoms than those who ate the least.

As the study responses relied on memory, the researchers stressed they were not able to draw firm conclusions about cause and effect from their findings, and recommended a healthy and varied diet.”

Your boy’s in trouble. I’ve been eating ham sandwiches for lunch Monday-Friday for about five years straight now. Oh yeah, also important and relevant to this story – I have asthma.

Might as well start looking at coffins for myself. Should’ve put one on my Christmas list. I mean, I had noticed that I was starting to have trouble breathing…..just in general….all the time. Just sitting here thinking, “God – I wonder it feels like I have a baby’s lungs in my body. Why am I so short of breath just sitting here?” Also, there’s been times where I think I’m not going to make it up the three flights of stairs to my apartment. Just get this pounding in my chest, hear a loud ringing noise, and some slight pain in my left arm.

I always just attributed it to cramps, though. I am an athlete after all. So, no need for concern.

Turns out, consuming an ungodly amount of ham and bacon and binge drinking coffee and beer all the time at a job where I sit at a desk all day, then come home and write shitty articles all night might have just a tad bit to do with it.

Actually, I don’t know how much I buy into this science crap. It just seems like a fantasy to me. Does Roald Dahl write for The Independent? Could be real, could be pure fiction. What has science ever really done for us anyway? Why should we listen to these people?

But, let’s assume this isn’t anything more than an excerpt from Harry Potter – I think the appropriate question to ask here is whether the positive emotional affect of bacon outweighs such potential health risks as these. And, at the end of the day, it’s on us, as investigative unbiased reporters, to ask the appropriate and important questions.

Also, we can answer them, too (since we’re authorities on everything). So, that being said, eat as many damn ham/bacon/ham AND bacon sandwiches as you want. Asthma isn’t really so bad, anyway.

Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, Contributor to FanSided’s Bama Hammer, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley@PFSpot@WrestlingNewsCo@Bama_Hammer

Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork

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