The Ric Flair Statue Is Sporting Quite the Dong

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Wrestlemania week is underway, baby – and it ain’t ‘Mania if Ric Flair isn’t stylin’ and profilin’ about town. Tonight, the WWE honored him with his own statue. This is one of my new favorite Wrestlemania traditions – unveiling a new statue. Where do they put these things? No fuckin’ clue. I assume they’re just strewn about the WWE corporate offices in Connecticut. Like, you’re just walking down the hallway, and BOOM – there’s Andre The Giant. You got Dusty Rhodes guarding the copier. Ultimate Warrior in the cafeteria. Just wherever Vince McMahon wants ’em.

Well, in Flair’s case, they sure were generous with the penis. I will say that. It’s like the Alberto Del Rio Pumpkin Watch from the weekly Raw recaps I did for Bear Hug It Out last summer is back! Except it’s Naitch!

Seriously – look at that thing. No way that’s an accurate bulge. It’s like he has a damn box turtle in the front of his trunks. You would think by now we probably would have seen Flair’s junk, but we haven’t. Moreover, doesn’t Flair strike you as the type of guy who likes to show off? Always talkin’ about Rolex watches, limousines, and such. Don’t you think if he actually had a hog he’d have pulled it out on an episode of WCW Thunder or something?

Nonetheless, as far as the statue goes, it’s an impressive package. I mean, is that Han Solo’s frozen face trying to break out of those trunks?

Credit to SESCoops:

Triple H and Stephanie McMahon unveiled a bronze statue of WWE Hall of Famer Ric Flair tonight at Wrestlemania Axxess. Arn Anderson, Sting, Shawn Michaels, Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat, Charlotte and many others were also there to congratulate Flair.

I don’t think I would feel comfortable having my daughter there to see this. Not to insinuate that Charlotte Flair would look at her dad’s wang, I’m just saying you can’t avoid it. I wasn’t lookin’ at the cock. The cock just happened to look at me…and once you see it, it’s hard to look away. Plus, that’s Ric Fucking Flair’s bulge – it would almost be disrespectful not to look. Anyway, I’m sure I’d notice, and I’m sure I’d be like, “oh, honey – look away for this.”

Not sure what’s going on with all of the statue sculptors this week, but damn – between Flair’s and Cristiano Ronaldo’s, sculptors are in a slump.

Here’s the problem – it’s a statue. It’s not the real thing. Therefore, we can’t add Flair to The Hog Club just yet. Gotta wait until he verifies it – gotta put the blue check right by dat dick.

Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley@WrestlingNewsCo

Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork

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