Mutant Wasps Sound Badass Until You Realize They're Just Regular Wasps With Red Eyes

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Big day in the news cycle. I’m just over here scrolling through the interwebs and this story catches my eye – mainly because I’m a HUGE fan of mutants. Though the X-Men have caused a lot of collateral damage, I think they’re still a positive force in the world. I figure, “hey – mutant wasps are one step closer to real life X-Men, so this seems like my kind of story. Wonder what other kinds of neat super powers they have?”

Courtesy of EurekAlert:

Researchers at UC Riverside’s Akbari lab have brought a new strain of red-eyed mutant wasps into the world.

The wasps were created to prove that CRISPR gene-slicing technology can be used successfully on the tiny parasitic jewel wasps, giving scientists a new way to study some of the wasp’s interesting biology, such as how males can convert all their progeny into males by using selfish genetic elements.

Blah, blah, blah – all this science jargon sounds like a bunch of bullshit. What they should really say is, “the wasps were not created with the vision of becoming X-Men in mind.”

That would save a lot of people the time of reading this article. Like, why does anyone care about the biology of wasps? I can tell you one thing: if a wasp comes at me, I’m not stopping to take a look at its eyes. It’s going to meet the bottom of my boot. And, not because I can kick exceptionally high. I mean that I will have to take my boot off first, then smack it.

The end goal, in Akbari’s case, is to better understand the biology of wasps and other insects, so they can find a way to control insects that destroy crops or spread diseases like malaria.

Oh, shit. Wait. I’m so glad I kept reading. This story actually does have a practical use. Insects that destroy crops are real ass-holes…mainly because we need those crops to survive. And, you guys already know this, but malaria is bad, too. We definitely need as little spread of malaria in the world as possible.

These sorts of insects could reasonably be described as terrorists. We need to end terrorism by creating wasps with red eyes.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley@WrestlingNewsCo

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