If You Live in Mt. Juliet, Beware the Squatting Axe Man

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Some really bizarre news coming out of Mount Juliet, Tennessee recently. Apparently, when a house is foreclosed upon and banks don’t really give a shit, squatting is a real life possibility. That’s amazing – it’s 2017, and we have people out there that are actually squatting….like Mount Juliet is lost in the old frontier days. Crazy.

Courtesy of The Comeback (by way of Nashville’s Channel 5 News):

WTVF uncovered the entire story and confronted the man, who town officials had unsuccessfully tried to force out for two years. After some profanity, the man had enough and chased the news crew away with an axe.

Best quote of this piece is easily, “Naw I’m fuckin’ runnin’ for fuckin’ Congress.” I also love that when they asked him if this was his land he replied with, “well, is it your’s?!?!” Not only is this man a talented squatter, he’s a deflection artist as well. This is a highly intelligent criminal mastermind we’re dealing with here.

After the attack, the police arrested the man for aggravated assault … but he bonded out and went back to living in the house!

How does this keep happening? Is this Jackass: Mount Juliet edition or something? And, dude – it’s over. It’s very clearly over. When the news crews start showing up at your house, that’s it – done. The banks and city officials know this is a bad look, especially now that it’s blasted for all of Nashville to see. They’re going to want to come in and clean this up quickly. If old boy had any sense about him, he’d realize this, and get the hell out of dodge.

So, there must be something he’s not telling us. He must be ready for a fight – gonna defend that log cabin like it’s the Alamo. Probably has an army of mountain children holed off in the woods specifically for this day.

The squatter, Jude Pischke, arrived at the house due to an unlikely opportunity. When the bank foreclosed on the previous owners, it went to auction, but the people who hoped to buy it were told by the bank at the last minute that the listing had been pulled.

The house then moved around between several banks, which simply forgot about it. That’s when Pischke moved in, and he wasn’t discreet about it. He brought with him piles of junk and lots of cars parked all over the lawn. Cops even found a stolen car there.

Police were called to the house for a domestic disturbance, but Pischke continued to live there. Nobody ever evicted him, though the bank told the news station is was going to attempt to now.

So, let me get this straight. Town officials have been trying to get this guy out of this house for two years, he gets arrested for aggravated assault, has a history of being a rather shitty human being, and most notably, HAS NO LEGAL CLAIM ON THIS PROPERTY, and yet he still seems to always find his way back to this luxurious log cabin.

Yeah, he’s working the system. I don’t know how people like this can end up in situations like this other than genius scheming, so hats off to the guy. He’s a special type of intelligent that even I don’t understand. That’s the only logical explanation. Or, you know what – maybe he’s blowing city officials. Shit – we’re not a credible news organization. We can speculate wildly about ridiculous things.

Finally, I don’t want to be rude or pass judgment on anyone, but that’s exactly what I’m about to do. That beautiful house is ruined. From the looks of things, there isn’t enough bleach in the world to clean that compound. I know exactly where this cabin is and at one point, it was indeed beautiful. That’s probably the biggest tragedy in this whole story.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley@WrestlingNewsCo

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