Hot Damn! You Can Shoot Wild Hogs From a Hot Air Balloon in Texas Now!

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GUYS! We’re going to Texas. It’s official now. Pack up a cooler. Bring the smoker down. We are going to barbecue like kings now.

Credit to KXAN:

Texas lawmakers have approved the hunting of feral hogs and coyotes from hot air balloons.

Texas’ growing hog population causes millions of dollars’ worth of damage to crops every year. Texas has an estimated two million feral hogs. Their high breeding rate and lack of natural predators has seen their population explode

The state already allows the shooting of feral hogs from helicopters, but that is expensive and has not been very unsuccessful because the aircraft often scare the animals away. Hot air balloons are quieter and offer a more stable shooting platform.

The bill requires the state to license hot air balloon hunting.

The bill passed the Senate Wednesday night and now goes to Gov. Greg Abbott for his consideration.

Just look at these motherfuckers:

You’re telling me these packs of vicious, destructive beasts are just gallivanting about the Lone Star State, wreaking all sorts of havoc? And, they’re just now standing up to the buttholes? Damn, I tell you what – even if I didn’t get some good BBQ out of this – I’m ready to join the fight, just to take a stand for humankind.

At one point, I thought these creatures were going to help us take down ISIS. But, it looks like they’re simply taking a stand against humans as a whole. And, they’re starting with In N’ Out Burger (pictured above).

I’m proud to see humans are already fighting back, but you have to consider the immense intelligence of the wild hogs….I mean, not just every animal can detect a helicopter in the sky. It’s time we go stealth mode, and there’s nothing stealthier than a hot air balloon.

I’ve actually been writing letters to Donald Trump, saying we need more hot air balloon warfare for when he starts World War III.

Also, it’s appearing that the wild hogs and the coyotes are now in cahoots. That’s bullshit. Those slimy ass coyotes just go with whoever has the power, and right now, the hogs have the power. The minute we start frying those shits, they’re going to come crawling back to humans and begging for garbage or whatever coyotes do.

I do have to say – I’m a bit disappointed that this was not in reference to the horrible Wild Hogs movie. Everyone involved in that movie deserves to be hunted down and shot – maybe not killed, but definitely shot.

One thing’s for certain, though: two million hogs can make a whole hell of a lot of pulled pork sammiches. Happy hunting (assuming this gets the affirmative green light).

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley@WrestlingNewsCo

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