#VicksFlicks Terse Twitter Reviews Vol. 10

 In Terse Twitter Reviews

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN:

DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES

3 out of 5 stars

This fifth adventure on the high seas still provides a sufficient diversion; however, there’s just a smidge of magic left on the Black Pearl. Sparrow is drunkenly stale yet Bardem & Rush’s swashbuckling contains an everlasting duende.

PERSONAL SHOPPER

2.5 out of 5 stars

An unusual, immersing ghost story, until the shifts in tone scare its artful smarts away. Sadly, capturing chilling moments becomes a disappearing act in the process. Yet Stewart is compelling, being haunted from the inside out. Her Twilight days are undeniably dead & gone.

THE FATE OF THE FURIOUS

3.5 out of 5 stars

This family bond will stand the test of time in a franchise that’s almost as dumb as it is entertaining. Plausibility is thrown out the window, but damn the engine still has some juice. The cast’s chemistry is dynamic & Theron is wicked fun, fitting right in to this nucking futs world of F&F.

COLOSSAL

4.5 out of 5 stars

Hathaway & Sudeikis give monstrous performances in a crazy,beautiful film that bends the rules on fitting in to a particular genre. Romance, alcoholism, revenge, hatred, they all leave their gigantic footprint on a singular, yet strangely spectacular, story that becomes larger than life.

 

THE LOST CITY OF Z

3 out of 5 stars

A grand adventure for a lost civilization sounds more fun than it actually is in this film. Slow & duplicative, the story is stretched too thin. Not until the last exploration does something of real interest happen. But Hunnam & Miller are exceptional as husband & wife living & breathing sacrifices & their consequences.

BORN IN CHINA

4 out of 5 stars

Krasinski voices the right amount of childlike perspective in newest astonishing doc about China’s majestic land & its incredible inhabitants. Families,instinct &survival is identifiable to all creatures & the captured footage never ceases to amaze.

THE PROMISE

2 out of 5 stars

A horrible genocide somehow is suppose to serve as a backdrop to a love triangle that’s not the least bit convincing or compelling. An impressive cast ruins the romance in this failed & forgettable film.

SLEIGHT

2 out of 5 stars

The mysterious magic that garners your attention doesn’t last in a movie that appears to have some tricks up its sleeve; yet as it goes on & we get a closer look, it becomes clear we’ve been fooled.

 

ALIEN: COVENANT

3 out of 5 stars

A slick sci-fi film w/ customary scares we’ve come to expect in this saga, along w/ some stupidity it just can’t shake. The philosophical themes are there, but incapable of bursting through the grisliness of the creation of the xenomorph. Still, Waterston kicks ass & Fassbender is dynamite at being devilish.

CASTING JONBENET

3.5 out of 5 stars

A cleverly unique, haunting approach to the infamous murder 2 decades ago. We will never know nor understand what happened, but the performer’s own revealing experiences delicately builds another layer to this grisly events’ lasting impact.

A DARK SONG

2 out of 5 stars

There’s an unsettling, eerie atmosphere that consumes this small horror film about a mother wanting to talk to her dead son, but where’s the scares?! As deranged as it gets w/ all of the preparation & waiting, the finale doesn’t nearly reward us for our generous patience.

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2

5 out of 5 stars

This spectacular sequel stands on the shoulders of the original & elevates this galactic gang’s story of who they are & the maverick family they’ve grown in to.The wit, excruciating emotion, killer tunes & visual splendor make this an extravaganza everyone needs to experience. is a standout franchise, & after these 2 volumes, it may be the greatest.

 

THE WALL

3.5 out of 5 stars

A lean, mean war film that aims for not only the physicality of combat, but the mental survival as well. Taylor-Johnson is electric as a tormented soldier caught in a calculated trap where strategy can be suspenseful.

THEIR FINEST

3.5 out of 5 stars

There’s no room for the harsh realities of war in this charming, sophisticated British film about using the power of cinema to show inspiration & hope to a nation. More importantly, Arterton is superb at supplying a voice for women who play an under appreciated, yet pivotal role behind the scenes.

THE DINNER

3.5 out of 5 stars

All four performances are dynamic w/ big appetites for self-indulgence & status within their small world. It’s a psychological thriller that makes you earn every bite while slowly disliking every character at the table; still, when this messy meal is done, you may be outraged & disturbed, but that’s the point. The dark side of human nature is never easy to digest.

KING ARTUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD

3 out of 5 stars

This loud, rambunctious tale doesn’t give a damn about history. Ritchie injects a completely different kind of energy that’s pumping w/ rapidness & fantasy, & Hunnam ain’t scared to go toe-to-toe w/ it. And Law is haughtily dreadful & loving every minute of it.

Brandon Vick is the resident film critic of the SoBros Network, and star of Brandon’s Box Office In Your Mouth. Follow him on Twitter@SirBrandonV and be sure to search #VicksFlicks for all of his latest movie reviews.

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