Not Fake News: Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin Apparently Taking the next Step in Their Bromance, Potentially Experimenting with Handjobs

 In Humor, News, Politics

I don’t know about you guys, but I watch this video and see, “You. Me. Handjob.” It’s a simple code that a lot of people who attend boring cocktail parties or G20 summits understand. The quality of this video is somewhat grainy, so it could be that he’s just saying, “You. Me. Dude, we rock!” But, I don’t know. That just seems like an odd way to show support for one another.

Ralph Wiggum submitted this in the SoBros Network Slack (our “article ideas” channel to specific, because we’re just super organized like that) and the consensus is that there’s some sort of sexual experimentation going on between the two.

Which is fine, of course. Personally, I love seeing a good bromance lead to sexual experimentation. Why? Because, the next step is obviously legitimate romance. We could be seeing the birth of a beautiful relationship. And, oh I don’t know, maybe I’m a good person, and just enjoy seeing people happy. If Donnie 45 wants to get a little frisky in a closet with Emperor Putin, then by all means, have at it. Tug all the cock you want, fellas! It’s 2017, and I love you for it.

Actually, that brings up an excellent point. This is just a simple gesture, but it doesn’t tell us whose penis is being tugged. If you want real political insight, that’s how you find out who is really pulling the strings (or penises) in this U.S.-Russia relationship. It all depends on who’s bringing the hand and who’s bringing the dick. The dick has all the power.

According to Washington Journal:

Footage from the G-20 summit has just emerged showing President Trump apparently sending hand signals to Russian dictator Vladimir Putin. Following the dinner, Trump and Putin held a second, off-the-record and undisclosed meeting, attended only by a single translator. The meeting has been the subject of intense media scrutiny and public speculation considering that multiple members of Trump’s campaign team, including two members of his immediate family, have been exposed carrying out undisclosed meetings with Russian agents.

So, here we are. People have been on Donnie 45 for a while now about this whole Russia thing. But, I always felt it was a little overblown. I mean, don’t we all commit a bit of treason every now and then? NBD in my book, but the media is super pissed. I’ll give the guy a pass for his pure electricity.

We haven’t blogged about Donnie 45 in quite a while, but I think every now and then, it’s important for us to poke our head into the political world and remind people that we are real fucking journalists.

Just to state for the record, I support secret handjobs between world leaders. Now, maybe the Trump supporters in our audience won’t come after me.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley@WrestlingNewsCo

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