Nashville Power Rankings: Week 13

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Nashville – we’re back for Week 13 of the SoBros Network’s Nashville Power Rankings. As journalists, we have the story of a city to tell, and we’re hammering it out one week at a time.

If you have a submission for this column, feel free to DM us on Facebook or Twitter, or shoot us an e-mail at thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com because we’re still too cheap to pay for e-mail hosting.

The Week In Review

Story of the Week: Nashville is getting a Taco Bell Cantina that will serve booze in addition to the Taco Bell menu. It is the only news that matters this week.

Blue Collar Badass of the Week: Derek Mason. The ‘Dores are 3-0 and welcoming the Alabama Crimson Tide to town tomorrow. Watch a Derek Mason pep talk and tell me you aren’t ready to run through a damn brick wall.

Honorary Nashvillian of the Week: Red Bull – Awwww yeah, the Red Bull Flugtag is in town. In case you aren’t aware, that’s where people construct makeshift flying devices and basically just dump them in the river. Nonetheless, it looks fun as hell, and I wish I could make it. Check it out here.

Shoutout: Paul Heggen – Paul becomes the first person to show up on the Nashville Power Rankings for a third time…I think. I could look, but I don’t feel like doing work right now. Anyway, the guy was voted ‘best weatherman’ and ‘best local blog’ in the Tennessean’s Toast of Music City Awards.

I will say that if we were nominated, he may have only gone home with one, but backstage politics have played a large part in us being blacklisted from the Toast of Music City Awards. That is completely fabricated, but I just wanted to boost my own ego real quick before moving on.

SoBros Story of the Week: Earlier in the week, I wrote a retrospective on Opryland that people are actually reading. Check it out here.

Step Your Game Up

WSMV – I said it, and I mean it. As long as Paul Heggen is not a part of my morning routine, WSMV will be featured here. Each and every week. The guy just won two Toast of Music City Awards, for fucks sake. And, y’all still aren’t going to acknowledge that he’s the best in Nashville by giving him the morning slot? This is ludicrous.

Kyle Shepard – Courtesy of Nashville Patch:

Franklin Police responded to the Hardison Hills Condominiums on Downs Boulevard at 3:15 Saturday afternoon to find Shepard “lying on the ground and unable to move.” Inside, officers found a 9-month-old baby “surrounded by beer cans and cocaine residue,” unattended and crying, according to a police report.

Now, it’s easy to say, “come on, man – act right.” But, to be fair, is this an ongoing investigation? Do we know for sure that the baby didn’t set this up?

Whoever is throwing bricks at cars in Donelson – Yeah, fuck you! Gut reaction is that this is some sort of gang initiation. I mean, you’ve all heard the urban legends about the people riding around with their headlights off. But, why else would someone be doing this completely arbitrary and heinous thing? Just for shits and giggles? I think we should catch the suspects and shove bricks up their buttholes. Sorry, that was graphic. But, for real, fuck those guys.

On to the Rankings

5. Derrick Henry – Have to consider the Titans running back, but not just for his breakout game against the Jaguars. Because of DeMarco Murray’s lingering hamstring injury, he could see an expanded role in the coming weeks. So, his stock is definitely up.

4. Virgin Hotels – Wow, here comes the big swingin’ dick of Sir Richard Branson, claiming apart of Music Row for a new Virgin Hotel. Courtesy of News Channel 5:

Both the mayor and Branson said they were excited for the opportunity to open a new 240 guest room hotel on the square between Division Street and 17th Avenue South.

The new hotel will be 200,000 square feet with restaurants, bars and a rooftop pool.

So, it sounds like pretty much every other new hotel popping up in the area….but those other hotels don’t have the big swingin’ dick of Sir Richard Branson.

3. Tailgate Brewery – Some big news for Tailgate Brewery this week, as they’ve announced plans to open up a new place in East Nashville. But, it’s long overdue for them to be our ‘Local Establishment of the Week.’ Every time we make it to that side of town (we’re all based in Hermitage/Mount Juliet), we have to stop in for a pint and a pizza. The beer tap is seemingly endless, and I haven’t had an unenjoyable beer yet. There’s no better “happy place” in Nashville than sitting out back amidst the hills, having a brew, and smoking a cigar. Shit, now I want to go to Tailgate….

2. Clay Travis – Love him or hate him, no one can deny that Travis made waves this week. First, he went on CNN and said that he only believes in the First Amendment and boobs. Then, he came out and said that he could be elected to Senate and local media outlets ran wild with it.

This is branding 101, people. Travis knows exactly what he’s doing. Props – also, it’s worth mentioning that Clay was the first person to ever pay me to write about football. So, that’s always going to give him points in the Nashville Power Rankings as long as I’m not dead and still writing this article.

1. Josef Newgarden – #1 spot this week has to go to the Hendersonville native who won the IndyCar championship on Sunday. Congrats – the Hendersonville mayor even named a ‘Josef Newgarden Day.’ Read more about the dude here.

’til next week, you stay classy, Nashville!

Scroll back through the archives here.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley@WrestlingNewsCo

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