Shit, I’m sitting here just staring at a blank article, reading over this story….and I honestly have no idea where to even start. Yeah, Miami Dolphins Offensive Line Coach Chris Foerster has probably had better days. Listen, I think it’s probably a pretty normal life experience for all of us. How many of y’all have gone on a weekend coke bender? How many more of y’all have professed your deep love of a stripper? All on camera? Al while on the job? Yep – it’s just as common as getting your driver’s license and framing the first dollar you ever make.
It’s almost a rite of passage, right? Just part of being a man. But, the difference is we aren’t NFL coaches with a magnifying glass on us at all times. Also, most of us don’t work under the scrutiny and pressure of an NFL coach. Most of us don’t have to find ways to get up and scream at people after only two hours of sleep each night. Maybe that’s why your every day routine coke bender isn’t as bad as what Foerster here did. I digress.
Miami Dolphins offensive line coach Chris Foerster has resigned after video emerged of him snorting white powder and claiming he was on his way into a meeting.
“Snorting white powder” – What? We can’t call it cocaine anymore? How crazy is your life that you’re snorting coke on the way to a meeting at work, though? This is wild.
In the video taken inside the Dolphins’ offices and posted to Facebook on Sunday, a man who has been identified as Foerster seems to be speaking to a woman and saying how much he misses her. He then says: ‘I’m about to go into a meeting but I’m going to do this before I go’, before using a $20 bill to snort the substance.
In a statement this morning, the 55-year-old Foerster said: ‘I am resigning from my position with the Miami Dolphins and accept full responsibility for my actions. I want to apologize to the organization and my sole focus is on getting the help that I need with the support of my family and medical professionals.’
Maybe I’m just being my typical pessimistic, jaded self, but I always find it a bit humorous to hear people say they’re “getting the help they need” after something like this. Dude, you’re not getting help because you need it. Or, because you’re trying to better your life and yourself. You’re getting it because you were caught!
In the video Foerster speaks into the camera and says: ‘It’ll be a while before we can do this again. Because I know you have to keep that baby. But I think about you when I do it. I think about how much I miss you. How we got high together, how much fun it was.’
After he’s finished snorting the substance he gathers the rest with his finger before putting it in his mouth and saying: ‘I wish I was licking this off your p****.’
“Baby, remember the good old days when I used to lick cocaine off of your p****? I miss those days.” This woman has coach SHOOK.
As you’d expect, Twitter was very kind and considerate of Foerster:
I guess #ChrisFoerster really is a line coach
— Based Los (@Carlitosweyy38) October 10, 2017
#ChrisFoerster clearly didn’t take any notes from @TPAIN…now there’s a gentleman when it comes to strippers….
— Mannknizzle (@ManniKnits) October 10, 2017
Reporter: “Hey Jay! What does Chris Foerster’s resignation mean for you?”
Cutler: “Means I gotta find a new coach to party wit on Fridays.” pic.twitter.com/tLCaEuZ2BM
— TotalProSports (@TotalProSports) October 9, 2017
But, it could always be worse, right?
In all seriousness, though. I can’t even imagine what this kind of life is like or the state of mind you’d have to be in to do something like this. A little scary that it can pretty much be anyone around you….you just don’t know people.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @WrestlingNewsCo
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