Someone Tell Grandpa to Quit Feeding the Damn Tigers or He’ll Lose the Rest of His Fingers

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Every now and then a good life lesson comes along and we’re able to pass it on to you: the fine readers of SoBros Network. Today, we have a story about a man who got drunk, went to the circus, and tried to feed live tigers paper money. I shit you not:

Courtesy of The South China Morning Post:

A circus tiger bit off two of a Chinese grandfather’s fingers while he was trying to feed the animal with paper money.

The 65-year-old man, only identified by his surname Bai, was treated in hospital and is now out of danger, Nanyang Evening Post reported.

The circus was visiting Jingziguan in Henan province with animals such as monkeys, lions and tigers on Wednesday afternoon, a witness surnamed Yang told Beijing Youth Daily.

Bai approached a caged lion and tiger, trying to feed them with banknotes.

Someone needs to get their damn granddad in check. This man sounds like a complete loose cannon. A total wild card, if you will. How rich do you have to be to try and literally get live tigers to eat your money? That’s reckless rich. That’s the type of rich where you don’t even care what happens to your money – throw it in the damn ocean for all you care!

I bet the monkeys really dug this grandpa though. Those motherfuckers are smart – they probably knew what them banknotes meant and used them to pay circus-goers to show all kinds of titties and dicks. That’s just what monkeys do. They are nature’s perverts, but in a fun and lovable way.

Also, love that grandpa is a one-name type of guy. “Bai” is along the same lines as Prince, Cher, and Undertaker.

A video posted online showed that the lion picked up the money and started chewing, but the tiger bit his right hand and would not let it go.

Yeah, wouldn’t you do the same exact thing if you were a live tiger?!?! You’re thinking you’re going to get a snack and then you bite into paper. You’re going to be pissed! And, you’re so embarrassed that you have no choice but to take this drunk asshole’s fingers.

Circus staff soon came to his rescue, hitting the tiger with iron bars until it let go of his hand.

“He fainted with a bleeding hand,” Yang said. “Two fingers were missing.”

His middle finger had been entirely bitten off and he lost half his ring finger, Bai’s granddaughter told Beijing Youth Daily. She said there was no warning tape set up at the site.

Another relative of Bai said he had been drinking alcohol before he went to the circus.

What kind of fucking warning tape do you need to keep you from putting your hand in a damn tiger cage? Give me a break. The circus staff should have just beat Bai’s unconscious body with those iron bars. The tiger certainly didn’t deserve it. He was just standing his ground and getting back at this guy for insulting his existence. Nothing to warrant a beating.

I don’t know what’s wrong with people, but if I ever get this rich, someone please stop me from putting my hand in tiger cages.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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