Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into my weekly American football column, Tank the 401k. Here, I will divulge all my professional eagle-eyed opinions on the upcoming week. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts!
Push, push, push – hot damn. Two pushes in one week? I’d complain if it didn’t save me from two losses. I said take the Titans at +2. If I had waited until that line moved up to +2.5, I’d have covered, but that’s neither here nor there. I’m going to push this into a positive and say, “mothafuckas, YABOI had another winning weekend.”
Yeah, I won despite picking Arkansas State -3 as my Stoney’s Stone Hard Pick of the Week (sorry, Steve). I have learned my lesson, though, and will never question my alma mater, the Harvard of the South, Middle Tennessee State University again. They proved me wrong. But, hey – it was the only game I got wrong last week, so I’ll ultimately take it.
I really want to get up to 60% by season’s end, but I don’t know if it’s going to happen. I just don’t know if I’ll have enough time. All I can do is chip away, so let’s give this sumbitch another try.
BIG NATURAL’S TANK THE 401K PICKS
NFL: Jacksonville -4.5 @ San Francisco – This 49ers team is going to be good, but I don’t think they’re ready to make the leap and beat a team like the Jaguars. Sacksonville will get to Jimmy G, and that secondary is going to lock down Marquise Goodwin, rendering the Niners offense largely ineffective. Blake Bortles is playing lights out, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the Jags won this one 30-13.
NCAFF: South Florida vs. Texas Tech, OVER 66 – These two teams are liable to score 66 points each. I mean, this is the easiest over I’ve seen all season when you factor in that teams don’t seem to play defense in bowl games in general. So, my goodness, what’s going to happen here? Is this game going to finish 107-100??? Who knows?
NFL: Buffalo +12 @ New England – I know the Pats are rolling right now, but this is a deeply personal game after the Gronk hit. The Bills will be fired up. They have to keep winning to keep their playoff hopes alive. I’m not saying they’ll win the game, but I’ll take +12 in the NFL.
NFL: Los Angeles Rams -6.5 @ Tennessee – Hate to keep going with road teams here, but this just looks like a mismatch. Plain and simple, the Titans offense is atrocious. Greg Zuerlein could kick a few field goals and the Rams could still cover. The Rams are simply head and shoulders above the Titans right now. This is an easy pick.
NFL: Detroit -5 @ Cincinnati – I said I wasn’t ready to give up on the Lions, and I stand by that. Hey, speaking of giving up, the Bengals appear to have completely given up on this season. I like the Lions 20-13.
Last Week: (2-1-2)
On the Season: (46-35-5) – 57%
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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