Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into my weekly American football column, Tank the 401k. Here, I will divulge all my professional eagle-eyed opinions on the upcoming week. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts!
I knew those spreads were way tooooooo big last week. It felt wrong to bet on Buffalo, Tennessee, and Atlanta. I felt crazy….like, what do all of these people see that I don’t? Well, YABOI was right. At least on those three games. I did think that New Orleans would come out swinging and boat race Carolina, but I’ll certainly take 3-1 for the week. That’s a damn good week. Hell, that’s 75% in case you ain’t a mathematician.
This week, the match-ups are a bit tougher, but shit – I thrive in tougher. Let’s do this.
BIG NATURAL’S TANK THE 401K PICKS
NFL: Philadelphia +3 vs. Atlanta – A six seed road favorite in the Divisional Round? Yeesh. Why are we discounting the Eagles so much? Sure, if they have Carson Wentz, things are different. But, it’s not like Nick Foles is some Spring chicken. He’s been around the block and won games in the NFL. Plus, the Eagles will be able to run the ball and that Jim Schwartz defense is COOKING. So, I just don’t see the Falcons winning this game. Eagles take this one 24-20.
NFL: Tennessee +14 @ New England – I don’t think that the Titans win this game, but I do think they match up well enough with the Patriots to make it tough on them. Jurrell Casey will be critical, and they’ll need a big day on special teams, but I think the Titans will find success running the ball and controlling time of possession. This may be a 30-17 type of game, but guess what – that’s a cover for the Titans.
NFL: Jacksonville +8 @ Pittsburgh – The Jags rocked the Steelers earlier in the season, and while I don’t expect Ben Roethlisberger to throw five picks again, I think the Jags match up well enough to keep this one close. Maybe the best receiving corps in the NFL going up against the best secondary in the NFL. It’s going to be a great matchup, but I really think Leonard Fournette is going to be the x-factor in this game. Steelers win, 20-14.
NFL: Minnesota -4 vs. New Orleans – I like both of these teams a lot, and do think this is a de facto NFC Championship. Whoever wins this one is going to the Super Bowl. I simply like Minnesota’s defense better. The Saints may be the more complete team, but after seeing Carolina stuff their run game, I like the Vikes. One big play from the Vikings offense could be the difference. Vikings win 27-21.
So, yeah – I think we’re getting Pats-Steelers and Vikes-Eagles next week.
Last Week: (3-1)
On the Season: (49-36-5) – 58%
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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