Big news broke late in the work day yesterday, but as Nashville’s preeminent source on celebrity gossip, we had to jump in and cover it anyway. It looks like Drew and Jonathan Scott, better known as HGTV megastars, The Property Brothers, are setting up shop in Nashville for a little bit.
This is a big event, folks. Not much different than the President coming to town, CMA Fest, or 1-2 inches of snow. The citizens of Nashville need to be aware and be prepared.
It is expected that panties will be flying all over town for the entire duration of The Property Brothers’ stay in Nashville. I am currently working with multiple sources to confirm exactly what gay men throw in situations like this, but they will likely be participating in this phenomenon as well.
I would caution those of you that plan on leaving the house at all. Hormones will be running high, and ladies, you run the risk of getting pregnant by simply looking at The Property Brothers. This is a big win for men, though. Since they cannot get pregnant, they will simply feel the orgasmic joy of making eye contact with a Property Brother without the added responsibility nine months later. Gay or straight, an orgasm is an orgasm and we can all thank the Property Brothers for their gift.
In November, Jonathan and Drew Scott were named Habitat Humanitarians—Habit for Humanity’s highest honor—for their continued work in promoting affordable housing and the charitable organization’s mission. Now, the Property Brothers are lacing up their work boots to kick off a new project in Nashville.
As part of the Home Is the Key campaign, the HGTV stars, 39, will be building homes for and alongside two Music City moms, Ashlee and Amanda, pictured above.
Oh, boy. Men of Nashville take notice. Hide ya wives, hide ya girlfriends, hide ya daughters, hide ya mothers, The Property Brothers ’bout to come in and steal every heart in the Music City. It’s just a fact of life.
Fabio, George Clooney, and The Property Brothers – the elite heart throbs in 2018. This is a red alert situations, guys. In fact, I’m nervous that my girlfriend is going to see this and not come home tonight. But, that’s the sacrifice I’m making in reporting this news. For you, the men of Nashville, to save your relationships.
The Property Brothers seem like nice enough dudes. It’s not their fault. But their presence alone could wreck several homes in Nashville. Just brush up your online dating profiles in case, guys.
There’s a solid chance there’s going to be a sudden influx of single men in the coming months.
Habitat for Humanity is also hosting a sweepstakes offering fans a chance to do some building alongside the Scott brothers in Nashville on April 2nd. One winner will be selected for each Scott brother’s team.
Honestly, you could do a legitimate, real life Hunger Games, and I still think people would line up to compete. “Here’s a spear, you’ll need to drive it through the hearts of five other people in order to qualify.” And, people would do it. You could probably tell people they’d have to murder a hundred people and they’d do it. That’s just the gravitational pull The Property Brothers have on people.
I have nothing but respect for the adulation The Property Brothers have earned through being charming, knowledgeable dudes. Salute.
By the way, I guess as a professional journalist, I should do some fact-checking and digging. Women still throw panties at celebrities, right?
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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