The Space Elevator Sounds Like a Rad Invention

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Big, big news out of the science world today, as apparently, we got some folks workin’ on a space elevator. Yeah. How crazy does that sound? Well, it’s true!

Courtesy of the New Zealand Herald:

A research team from Tsinghua University in Beijing has developed a fibre they say is so strong it could even be used to build an elevator to space.

They say just 1 cubic centimetre of the fibre – made from carbon nanotube – would not break under the weight of 160 elephants, or more than 800 tonnes. And that tiny piece of cable would weigh just 1.6 grams.

Pffffttt….why the hell would you ever want to lift 160 elephants? SMDH. Is this what we’re building a space elevator for? To send 160 elephants to the moon?

I have to say, though – assuming that you give them all devices that allow them to breathe and function as normal (and, let’s face it – we’re talking about people building an elevator to space, so you KNOW they’ll be able to gimmick elephants with space suits), that would be a calming visual.

I’m just picturing 160 elephants happily floating in low gravity on the moon. That’s like a fucking lullaby. I need to write that down to revisit later, when I have time to write lullabies for kids.

Okay…where was I?

The idea of building a lift that could travel from the Earth into space may sound like the stuff of science fiction, but it has been around for more than a century, and scientists have come up with various designs in recent decades.

One of them involves sending a large satellite into geostationary orbit that would lower a cable to the ground, where it would be anchored, and send another cable in the opposite direction, attached to a counterweight.

The theory is that the lift would be suspended between two cables – pulled taut by gravity and centrifugal force, and rotating with the Earth, like a weight on a piece of string being swung around in circles.

But so far, the space elevator idea has remained in the realm of physical and mathematical models because there has been no material strong enough to make the super-light, ultra-strong cables needed.

Well, now that’s changed! You can lift 160 elephants into space now!

I’m totally hopping on board the first elevator to the moon I can get on. What’s the worst that could happen? You get halfway there, the cable breaks, and you just go orbiting out into space. Guess what – they’ll give you an Oscar for that. That’s called Gravity.

Or, you don’t even make it off the Earth – well, an explosion’s a quick and painless death and I’ve had my fun on this planet. I’m not afraid to die for the sake of science.

That’s a lie. I’m not that tough. I have let my excitement over this space elevator get the better of me and I’m saying things I don’t really mean.

I guess the main takeaway from this piece of journalism today is that I don’t want to die.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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