Nothing says pure sex quite like Barry White. Indeed, simply hearing White’s voice has been known to cause orgasm in men and women if within earshot of it. It’s a force of nature and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
We see stories of cops behaving badly all the time. Relations between the police and the citizens of our country can be quite tenuous. That’s why I always like to see stories like this one, of cops giving back to the community and really smoothing things over, pop up.
A Florida police officer has been suspended for allegedly playing Barry White while letting an arrested couple smoke and make-out in the back of his patrol car.
According to an internal affairs report released Friday, Fort Myers Police Officer Doug McNeal placed the couple in the back of his patrol car after they’d been charged with shoplifting in July. Authorities said 23-year-old Zachery Moellendick and 24-year-old Krista Leigh were not placed in seatbelts and that Moellendick was not in handcuffs and had a lighter and a cigarette.
The alleged incident was captured on video. Florida Today reports the video shows the couple making out. Authorities say the officer played “Can’t Get Enough Of Your Love” and agreed to let them smoke.
Ah, love. The zany things it’ll make us do. Like….steal things. I mean, what’s a little shoplifting hurt, anyway? This is like a modern day Floridian Bonnie and Clyde.
Look – Officer McNeal probably knows they’re about to have a long night in jail, away from each other. He probably sees that this was a crime of pent up passion, as most shoplifting incidents are, and he saw an opportunity to let the citizens know that it was okay to be in the back of a cop car.
Probably noticed ’em getting a little handsy, and decided to do them a solid and enhance the mood. Go on and get that rub and tug in before you get to your jail cell, guys. I’m not going to lie – I’m a tad aroused just writing this story. That didn’t happen until I got to the word ‘handcuffs’ but my God – what do I do now?
They have a video, you say? Well, well, well – maybe we oughta pop that bad boy in the VCR and study the evidence.
Okay, I need to turn the Barry White music off if I’m going to write anymore tonight. This is getting out of hand.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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