Thank you for coming to my emergency call to action today, folks. We have important work to do. Does everyone remember several years ago when ‘Warmacking’ was a thing? Former Alabama Crimson Tide and Tennessee Titans guard Chance Warmack would roll his jersey up so his tummy could breathe during games.
Well, that’s why we’re here today. It’s important that we bring it back. Why? Because it’s fuckin’ hot as hell outside, that’s why. It’s that time of the year when you walk outside and it’s like breathing in steam. Listen – I’m a big guy. I’m not as big as Chance Warmack, but I would absolutely relish the opportunity to stick my gut out in the heat like this. Just walking around at the day job with all manner of business hanging out.
I wish it were socially acceptable to do so. When Warmack did it, it was funny and endearing. It became a viral trend. So, for all the big guys out there, I’m here to try and bring it back so that it is okay for us to walk around with our sweaty guts hanging out.
Sure, Chance Warmack is currently NOT with a team that plays in the NFL. That’s okay, he won a Super Bowl two seasons ago with the Philadelphia Eagles. We can cling to that. That’s what makes him relevant. Anybody comes to you and says, “bro why’s your damn belly out?” – all you have to say is, “in honor of 2017 Super Bowl Champion Chance Warmack Roll Tide,” and you’re golden.
Shit, if you’re in Alabama, Warmack could’ve played a hundred years ago and he’d still be relevant to Tide fans! That’s all you big uns down in T-Town have to say. But, here in Nashville, people are going to look at you kinda funny.
That’s why I say it’s time to bring Warmacking back. Let’s make it acceptable for men to stick out their bellies in public again.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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