Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, use #SoBrosMailbag to hit us up on Twitter.
Question:
I know it’s typically #GinFridays at SoBros HQ but what’s the go to bourbon/whisky?
— bah humbug brett (@thebrettclark) December 19, 2019
Answer:
I just got a new decanter as a Christmas gift, so I’ve been drinking a lot more whiskey (plus, I’ve been sick, and whiskey helps a cough…so, y’know….logic) lately. Not sure if you’re a fan of Irish whiskey or not, but I’ve become a big fan of Jameson’s Caskmate series. Particularly, the IPA edition. That’s what I had to fill my fancy new decanter with, and it’s probably my ‘flavor of the month,’ if you will.
As far as bourbons go, I’m a big fan of Blanton’s and Eagle Rare. Tin Cup is serviceable. In terms of value, if I’m looking for something of high quality that won’t break the bank, I go Buffalo Trace. That’s probably the bourbon I drink the most. If I’m lookin’ to get smashed, I pick up that yellow label Four Roses.
Question:
If old bay came out with flavored lubricant, what would that mean for your sex life?
— sobrostan (@sobrostan) December 19, 2019
Answer:
There’d be a lot more grits in the bedroom if you know what I mean.
Question:
If you suntan your butthole too dark, seems like that means you’d have to get it bleached to even things out. In this scenario, does the cost of constantly blaching your butthole outweigh the health benefits of tanning it?
— The Ultimate Worrier (@WorrierMN) December 19, 2019
Answer:
I would say so. There HAS to be a way that your butthole can get sunlight without getting too dark. Maybe some sort of tanning lotion designed specifically for buttholes? This is why the think tank was invented. To solve these crises.
Question, from Olivia on Instagram:
Would you rather have to eat through your eyeballs or have to open your mouth to see?
Answer:
Easy. I’m eating through my eyeballs. You’d have to keep your mouth open all the time if you wanted to see, and think of all the things that could get in your mouth that way. GRRRRRROOOOSS.
Question, from Olivia on Instagram:
What’s the WORST Christmas song?
Answer:
Y’all can call me heartless if you want, but it’s that fucking Christmas shoes song. I don’t want to be sad during Christmas. For once a fucking year, I just want to pretend like everything is okay. Don’t depress me with that shit.
Question, from Steven on Instagram:
What’s some things I should next weekend while I’m Dallas for the Cotton Bowl. Go Tigers Go!!!
Answer:
Well, if you stick around ’til January 1st, they’re playing this big hockey game called the Winter Classic, and our very own Nashville Predators are playing in it. If not, I’d say just try and buy some goods from the Dallas Buyers Club.
Congrats on a fine season, by the way, Steven. Enjoy the Cotton Bowl!
Question, from Woody on Instagram:
When it comes to SoBros 2019 accomplishments would you say you’re 1-Satisfied 2-Somewhat Satisfied 3-Neither Satisfied or Dissatisfied 4-Somewhat Dissatisfied 5-Dissatisfied
Answer:
I could be that typical entrepreneurial douchebag and say I’M NEVER SATISFIED, and actually, I will. I’m never truly satisfied. Not until I wake up in the morning, go to my office, and type up articles about people fighting in the street as my day job.
But, all in all, this was a tough year. I feel like we didn’t hit some of our most important goals, but it’s not to say that we didn’t accomplish anything. I’d give it a 4.
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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