Cats: Release the Butthole Cut

Apparently, there is a version of the movie Cats in which all of the cats have actual CGI buttholes. Do the right thing. Release the butthole cut.

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Cats hit theaters last holiday season to absolute terrible reviews. It bombed. A lot of people didn’t like it. It was the butt of an awful lot of jokes. Just plain and simple….it wasn’t well received at all. But, even despite all of that….a little bit of news trickled out on the big Twitter machine yesterday that just might change the entire perception of this film.

Apparently, there exists….somewhere in this world….a cut of Cats that includes CGI buttholes on all of the characters.

Look….in these trying times, now more than ever, we need sustainable entertainment options. The morale of the world is down in the face of the coronavirus. So, what are some of the big production companies doing? Releasing #content. Personally, I can’t wait to watch The Invisible Man from the comfort of my own couch. We’ve already seen Frozen II approximately

Cats needs to follow suit.

I mean, how ridiculous is this? A butthole….a CGI butthole….on a humanoid cat. If cats are walking around with their tails up, you can kinda see their buttholes. But, it takes a human to spread them cheeks before you see it. Given that the cats in Cats are more human than cat, why even bother? Are you just putting a cat butthole on a human ass?

Inquiring minds HAVE to know.

And, who made the call to begin with? “Not real enough….needs more buttholes…CGI ’em in.” What do you think the CGI team was thinking under those orders? “How…do…I guess just put a butthole on it?” And THEN…someone had to come along and say, “who the fuck put all these buttholes on everything?” Just high drama in the Cats war room.

This is wild news. If they never #ReleasetheButtholeCut, I hope that at the very least there’s a tell-all book written about this one day.

Additional commentary from Mose: “This is the only version I’ll watch.

Also, alternative headline provided by Worrier: “SoBros Presents: CATS: Oops! All Buttholes!”

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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