The SoBros Mailbag: 99th Edition – Drinking with Historical Figures

It's lunch time on a Friday. That can only mean one thing: the SoBros Mailbag is here.

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Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, use #SoBrosMailbag to hit us up on Twitter.

Question:

Answer:

You know what….I think I could actually do it. If the stakes were that high, I would like to think I could step up. The hardest part of it would be missing out on the gin for me. But, knowing that the fate of humanity rests in my decision would (I sincerely hope) motivate me to do right. Or, I could just become the ultimate super villain. There’s options here…so you know what? I’m definitely going to say ‘yes’ now.

Question:

Answer:

So many come to mind – Tesla, Hemingway, Whitman, Twain (Mark, not Shania), Teddy Roosevelt…just to name a few. Ultimately, I think I’m going with Benjamin Franklin. Even though he wasn’t really a big drinker, I’d love to just sit down and shoot the shit with him…hear about the revolution and the Founding Fathers from one of the men who lived it. He was also ahead of his time in a lot of ways, too. Wouldn’t you love to hear his take on the country today?

Question:

Answer:

If you have enough people (which would actually probably defeat the purpose of social distancing, so don’t mind me…), Mafia is always the way to go. Otherwise, I’m just a basic ass dude who enjoys a good game of beer pong.

Question:

Answer:

Not that I’m aware of. I did take a leak at The Hermitage once, though, so I’m not sure if you want to count Andrew Jackson’s ghost.

Question:

Answer:

Honestly, I’ll probably go downtown. I’m not usually the downtown type, but I’d love to kick off a night at Buffalo’s and just see where it takes me. If it’s warm enough (and it probably will be by the time the dust settles on this thing), I’m liable to just go chill out in the back yard at Nectar: Urban Cantina, with a fresh margarita and a plate of tacos.

Question:

Answer:

I’m a basic ass dude. I have a couple of really nice pens made by local craftsmen that I’ve picked up here and there at craft fairs such as Bell Buckle’s. But, by and large, I’ve always got a Pilot G2 on me.

I’m old school – I still like having notebooks. I always carry three in my backpack. Most importantly, one notebook serves as my SoBros business itinerary. Sometimes, I post pictures of it, but it essentially organizes the entire workflow of a week at SoBros Network, AND it serves as a to-do list for the business side of things. The second is my collection of game notes from the recent Titans season.

And, last but not least, the third is just a free for all creative notebook – I use it to jot down random business, article, or podcast ideas throughout the day. I also use it to write plots for short fiction that may or may not ever see the light of day. And, also my rap lyrics.

Stoney Keeley’s backpack is ready for anything.

Question:

Answer:

This first question is a tough one. You have to have done something so heinous that death isn’t enough of a punishment. The easy answer is Hitler, but I don’t want to be easy, so I’m going to say Vlad the Impaler.

Honestly, I think I could at least eat 30. I tend to have an overinflated ego, and I wanted to say 50 so bad, but I think 30 is the much more reasonable number.

I hate bodily fluids of any type so congrats on making me almost puke. I’ll piss into my own mouth, though….at least that’s my own brand.

Question:

Answer:

That’s a tough one – there are so many…”Nookie” is probably the one I listen to most, but I don’t know if I’d say it’s the best. Honestly, I might go “Faith” or “My Way” here. Nah, I’m going to stick with “Nookie.”

Honestly, I never owned a PS2 – I retired from gaming after the first Playstation.

The first quarantine snack to go was the pizza Pringles. I’m a big time chip guy. They’re my weakness – jalapeno ranch Ruffles, pizza Pringles, Golden Flake Sweet Heat…sign me up.

Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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