Oh No, Who’s Going to Be the One to Say This Isn’t a Real Cheesecake?

 In Humor, News

It’s been a heavy week. I promise…we’ll get to the cheesecake, but I just wanted to clear the air a bit before we attempt to move forward because I’ve been offline for the better part of the last several days.

I’ve had no idea what to really say about what’s going on in our country today. Over the course of the last week, I’ve felt angry, depressed, concerned, helpless, and more often than anything else, useless. I’ve been overwhelmed with emotion, and I’ve ended up in my bed staring at the ceiling. But, I’ve had no idea how to properly and respectfully express myself.

I’ve had conversations with managers and business leaders at the various day jobs I’ve held down over the past decade when these people use causes as a marketing ploy or an attempt to further their business. Even those with the best of intentions. People are waking up to that – it’s why things ring a little hollow when a gigantic corporation tweets about racism (or Pride Month, for that matter). I don’t ever want anyone to doubt my motives or what SoBros Network stands for. I want our actions to prove what’s in our hearts – volunteering, donating. The last thing I would want is for anyone to think that I’m making this about me or my business. Plus, I can’t tell you how many tweets I’ve typed over the course of the last week only to delete it, saying to myself, “who wants another white dude’s opinion right now anyway?”

But, then there’s the idea that my silence is compliance. What do I do? I tend to think that we overextend the value of social media these days – Twitter isn’t real life. Should I say something, though? Isn’t it worth it even if it only means something to one person? I want my black friends to know that my heart hurts for them, I care about them and what’s happening to them, and that I am an ally who wants to become a better ally.

I think about what I’ve done here during my tenure at SoBros Network – and the crux of it is that I just want to create and I want to be here for you (really, if you’ve taken the time to read this and didn’t just scroll to the cheesecake clip, bravo). This whole thing was born out of an idea that we could create a supportive space for each other in which we’d forget the trials and tribulations of everyday life, laugh, and just shoot the shit. Camaraderie is the essence of our company. If you want to be angry…if you don’t feel like this is the time for stuff like SoBros Network…I get it. I understand.

Getting back to work, to me, doesn’t mean that I’m going to forget what happened and move on. I thought President Obama had some poignant thoughts on the matter and ways that we could get involved. I’m happy to talk further with anyone who wants to have the larger conversation with me – I don’t shy away from my opinions. But, I wanted to let everyone take a step back, reflect, hurt, and then catch their breath.

So, let’s bring it back with this clip of a looter walking through Seattle with what I’m sure they thought was an actual cheesecake.

Oh shit oh fuck.

Someone very quickly pointed out on this Twitter thread that that is actually one of the fake display cheesecakes that they use.

This person is going to feel so embarrassed when they get that thing home, pull out a fork and knife, and dig into some fuckin’ plastic. That ain’t gonna fly – then, guess what – you just looted a Cheesecake Factory for nothing.

Unless this person works for a competing diner and is thinking they’re going to take away the Cheesecake Factory’s precious display and put it in their own diner. Or, hell – maybe they’re just thinking, “man, this fake cheesecake would look real fuckin’ cool on my coffee table.”

I don’t know. I’ve lost any clue I thought I once had about the world over the last couple of months.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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