The SoBros Mailbag: 108th Edition – Thirst Trap Advice

 In Humor, The SoBros Mailbag

Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, use #SoBrosMailbag to hit us up on Twitter.

Question:

Answer:

I had a more thoughtful idea typed out, Brett…but then the site went down and we spent all weekend trying to sort it out. Part of that solution was restoring an old snapshot of the site from before I entered this article. So, my FOUR PARAGRAPHS on this question were lost to the abyss. I’m going to do my best to remember what I had.

But, I’m going with Ryan Gosling as Batman and Mahershala Ali as Nightwing. I’m tired of the boy wonder – let’s get grown ass Nightwing into the fold, fuckin’ shit up, right alongside Batman.

From what I remember, I also had Florence Pugh as Catwoman, Sam Rockwell as The Riddler, Jessica Chastain as Poison Ivy, Dave Bautista as Clayface (LFG!!!), Jon Bernthal as Deathstroke – and hear me out on this one….Adam Sandler as The Penguin. Watch Uncut Gems if you haven’t already.

All of it leads up to a showdown with Bryan Cranston as The Joker.

Question:

Answer:

No sleeves and a good old fashioned pair of plain ass sweat pants – nothing makes for a better lounge ‘fit in my opinion. This is what I would probably live in if given the option.

As for the thirst trap tips, I would say it has to radiate your personality….it’s gotta be you. People underrate how much personality plays into sensuality. You gotta leave ’em wanting more – you can’t just hang all your stuff out there on the first photo. And, setting matters. A good thirst trap isn’t going to have…like…your toothbrushes and toothpaste out on the counter in the background.

For example:

That’s me. Dick’s not out. I’m on the beach. This is my best thirst trap ever.

Question:

Answer:

I think it depends on the situation – I’ve worked in an office that would let sweat pants fly, and that was years before any quarantine or lockdown. But, fuck work – you’re not thinkin’ big enough, Patrick. When can we start wearing sweat pants out to a nice dinner or a night out on the town?

Question:

Answer:

I think I hate bodily fluids too much to ever actually go through with it. I love the idea of that level of convenience, but I wouldn’t want to sit in a dirty diaper until I could get to a clean one.

How would that work? Would we all just start carrying diaper bags with us???? A lot to consider.

Question:

Answer:

I’m going with ‘4AT’ (pronounced ‘Forat’ like ‘Borat’) – the ‘A’ is for ‘autonomous’ because I’m a big proponent of the autonomous future and always looking ahead. The ‘T’ is for ‘tacos’ because I love tacos, and four is my favorite number.

As an aside, my Uncle Gary was not a celebrity, but he was just a tad crazy, and legitimately wanted and tried to name his son Spartacus.

Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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