Sign the Petition to Bring a Drive-thru Strip Club to Nashville

 In Humor, Nashville

Alright, guys – full disclosure. I have no idea how petitions work. I just see them all the time, and it seems like it’s a fun buzzword to throw around on social media when you want something done. Petitions are everywhere in 2020 – you could even go as far as to say they are so FETCH. Petitions. Anyway, I’m sure this SoBros Network article about bringing a drive-thru strip club to Nashville will count just the same in a court of law as those internet petitions that are probably fake. So, be sure to comment and let everyone know that you stand with us.

I am going to try and convince Mayor Cooper to give me an audience to hear me out on this thing. After all, he’s the man with all the power in the city. People, especially the all-powerful Broadway bar owners, seem to really respect his authority. So, I’m sure that if the EIC got in front of him, I could convince him that this is nothing short of a critical necessity for the Music City. So, sign this petition – please do not forget. In the comments section…

Anyway, Mose and I talked about this on an episode of the SoBros Power Hour back when the quarantine first started setting in. Up in Portland or somewhere (that’s good journalism, right? Just fuckin’ guess – don’t actually look it up), they opened up a drive-thru strip club to help people make some dough through the shut down. Now, it would appear as though Houston is following suit with The Vivid Gentleman’s Club Drive-Thru Tiddy Bonanza (that’s not the actual name, but if y’all like it and end up using it, please just shout out SoBros Network dot com).

Courtesy of the Daily News:

The Vivid Gentleman’s Club in Houston is now the first drive-thru strip club in Texas as the venue attempts to adjust to the coronavirus pandemic, the Houston Chronicle reported. Dancers perform in an area blocked off by metal barricades as cars drive through. Some of the entertainers are wearing masks.

Drivers go into a white tent, where the “live entertainment” is taking place, and can stay inside for two songs as they wait for food to be prepared. Menu items include pizza, nachos, burgers, drinks and more.

Well, slap my ass and call me Sally. Pull my hair and spit on my bare feet. Stick a thumb in me and call me done. I am flabbergasted. You know how some real smart business people say something is “too brilliant to fail?” That’s exactly what the drive-thru strip club sounds like – too fucking brilliant to fail.

Just think about it. One, you don’t have to worry about paying rent or buying a building if you’re just going tits/dicks out on the side of the street. You don’t have to worry about getting a liquor license if people are just drinking in their cars as they drive through the strip club. And, if you’re a dancer, you get to wear a mask. How cool is that? Or, am I the only one who has always wanted to dance around naked with a mask on for people?

Whatever the case may be, this has me ready to get out there and sling some dick on the street. This could be so great for the economy. Mayor Cooper, if you are reading this petition, please consider bringing the tiddy bar to the streets of Nashville.

We deserve it.

*HA! They actually mention that drive-thru strip club in Portland in the article about Houston. So, not only did I NOT take the time to look it up, I also didn’t even read the entire article before starting this petition. I am batting a thousand today, folks. LFG!

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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