Alright, folks. Time for me to put on my big brain and do some big brain journalism here. I have kicked over a rock like none other before. I’m fully expecting the rights of this story to be sold to some Hollywood studio for immense profits because it’s just that unbelievable. I’m going to be rich. I have uncovered a massive glitch in the simulation, as Carrabba’s appears to have bushes on the roof and I don’t know why.
Is this real? Is this fantasy? Is this another case of the Mandela Effect? Am I the only one that is just completely thrown off by this? Has it always been like this or what? These are questions that we deserve answers to. That’s why I’m here today – to demand answers from Carrabba’s.
It all started when my fiancé and I went out to Spring Hill to visit some friends on Saturday. On our way home, we decided we’d stop for food at the local staple, P.F. Chang’s. By the way, quick aside – P.F. Chang’s has some BANGIN’ ass ramen. Who’d ah thunk it? Not me. And, yet here we are – look at us. Anyway, on the way out of Cool Springs, my keen eagle eyes just happened to glance over and notice this weird characteristic.
I get it. Carrabba’s: when you’re here, you’re family. I love it there. It is an Italian *grill* – not just an Italian restaurant, which means Carrabba’s is a dining experience unlike any other. I am big time pro-Carrabba’s, but I just want to know who this serves? Can you even see the plants from the parking lot? How did we arrive at the decision to landscape the roof?
What do you think that conversation was like? Here…I’ll take a guess:
Carrabba’s MGMT: “Okay, guys – we need an A+ marketing idea to get us over the top. Whaddya got?”
Person #1: “What if we offer a diverse menu of Italian classics? Y’know? Get the basics right…”
Carrabba’s MGMT: “Meh….”
Person #2: “Let’s hire a young, on-point social media team to spread the word!”
Carrabba’s MGMT: “I don’t know.”
Person #3: “What if we plant bushes on the roof of every restaurant?”
Carrabba’s MGMT: “Fuck yeah, pal! That’s the ticket!”
I don’t know – just spitballin’ here.
I bet there’s some sort of hidden code that allows you to smell the flowers up there. We’re all looking at it like, “why the fuck is there landscaping on the roof?” In reality, it’s some sort of easter egg. If you eat five pounds of food in one sitting, you gain the password to go chill in the roof garden. Walk in with the head of a Macaroni Grille server on a spike and the hostess will unlock the hidden elevator to the roof garden. Something like that.
Or, *plot twist* – maybe this was the entire goal of the marketing scheme. “Let’s get people driving by to notice something about us and then all the weird goof blogs will write about us.” Well, if that’s the case, Mr. Carrabba, then you have succeeded. Ya got me – caught me with my britches around my ankles.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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