Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into our weekly American football column here on the SoBros Network, Tank the 401k. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts (actually, don’t really do that – this is just sarcasm. Our lawyers say we shouldn’t claim to be experts on anything because we’re not)! Each week, Stoney and Stan team up to offer their three locks of the week – obviously, we’re not professionals here so take this advice with a grain of salt and don’t sue us if you piss all of your money away. That’s not our fault. Okay, I think we’re all set here – here are this week’s SoBros Gambling Picks.
Stan’s Picks
Well, well, well…. here we are again. Back at it after a 3-0 sweep last week! Did you follow my picks? I hope so. I am not going to lie – It’s hard to pick this week. Not because I’m putting my 3-0 reputation on the line, but it’s pretty tough to type and swim in money at the same time. With that said…… let’s #tankthe401k.
Raiders +6.5 – I think this is going to be a defining moment in the Raiders/Carr/Renfrow/Gruden era. March into New England, cover the spread, and potentially win outright. Go Renfrow.
Buccaneers -6 – My least favorite of my picks, but Tom Brady and Mike Evans seem to be clicking. Fournette seems to now be comfortable, too. Denver stinks.
Let the record show BYU -14 is my 3rd pick. I had ND lined up but covid gonna covid.
— sobrostan (@sobrostan) September 23, 2020
Stan is the Chief of Debauchery for SoBros Network. A native of the Northeast, he is a diehard fan of the New York Yankees, but no, he does not wear a big gold chain and backwards hat. Nor does he drink Heinekens. Follow on Twitter: @sobrostan.
Stoney’s Picks
Not the hottest of starts for your boy, for sure. I bit hard on the Louisville Cardinals, and it straight up fucked me. Good thing I like fuckin’ because I got fucked again on Sunday when Mike Gesicki scored a touchdown with 49 seconds left in the game that allowed the Dolphins to cover against the Bills. THAT close to at least starting with a winning record. I don’t want to say ‘fuck Mike Gesicki,’ but fuck Mike Gesicki. SMDH – not going to lie, it has me a little gun-shy this week, but winners win and pickers pick. So, I just have to roll up these sleeves and get to work.
Tennessee -3.5 – SEC football at night, baby!!! LFG! The Vols begin their dark horse SEC campaign in South Carolina. They ravaged the Gamecocks last year, 41-21 in Knoxville. This team is going to be better, but since it’s on the road, I’m not calling it a blowout – just enough to cover this one.
Steelers -4 – I know the Texans are going to be desperate for a win going into this one, and I’m not quite ready to buy the Steelers as a legitimate Super Bowl contender just yet, but just look at the matchup. THIS vaunted and relentless pass rush against THAT Texans offensive line. This ain’t the game for Houston to figure their shit out.
Seahawks -4.5 – The Cowboys have some issues on defense, and don’t look now, but here comes the MVP of the league through two games. The game’s in Seattle, and I see Russell Wilson cookin’ ’em up big time.
SEASON STATS
- Stan’s W-L: (3-0) – 100%
- Stan Last Week: (3-0)
- Stoney’s W-L: (1-2) –33%
- Stoney Last Week: (1-2)
- SoBros W-L: (4-2) – 67%
- SoBros Last Week: (4-2)
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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