We’ve arrived at the end of another year here in the Music City, and hot holy hell – it was a weird one, wasn’t it? Think back to January, when things were normal. That feels like a lifetime ago. We got hit with a tornado, and then two weeks later, the whole damn world shut down thanks to the covid.
It was bizarre, and after nearly 10 months of this, I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to some normalcy again. But, when you’re in the journalism game like we are, sometimes, you have to look back on things, even if they’re painful. Those ‘best of’ lists aren’t going to write themselves.
So, in the face of all this adversity, I’m choosing to be brave and recap all of the biggest Nashville stories from 2020. This is the social obligation we have to the people.
Nashville’s Top Stories from 2020
1/28: This dude lit up a joint in a Wilson County court – link – The balls on this guy! I guess if you’re going to go down, you might as well go down swinging.
2/4: Did Kent Calfee chug chocolate syrup or not? – link – I know what was said and what was reported. I choose to believe that it was chocolate syrup.
3/2: Bill Belichick hung out at Kid Rock’s Big Ass Honky Tonk – link – Look, if we know anything about Bill Belichick, it’s that he loves fun. I guess Kid Rock’s Big Ass Honky Tonk is his kinda place. It only makes sense.
3/18: Rikishi hung out at Santa Fe – link – Big time win for Santa Fe. You wanna know how you get me back at a Santa Fe? Hang that picture of Rikishi stopping by on the wall.
6/8: Brandon and I saw a dude’s whole ass butt on the greenway – link – Big time headline news here. It begs the question – what would you do if you saw someone’s whole ass butt in a social setting?
8/31: The damn Ravin Hotel caught on fire! – link – Listen, the Ravin Hotel moves the needle – there’s no doubt about it. A couple of years ago, it was because some ladies of the night were fighting in the street and caused a traffic jam. In 2020, it was because the whole damn building caught fire!
9/10: They closed down the damn downtown Demos’ – link – Is nothing sacred anymore? Must New Nashville vanquish all our favorites of yesteryear in its conquest?
11/11: Whataburger is coming to town – link – Sure, it effectively killed the dream of moving SoBros HQ into that old abandoned Applebee’s in Hermitage, but I guess it’s still pretty cool that we’re finally getting a Whataburger.
But, what is unequivocally the story of the year comes to us courtesy of Scoop Wilson…
8/31: “MAN FOUND IN LAUNDROMAT WITH “PANTS AROUND HIS ANKLES, ON ALL FOURS, MASTURBATING” PER LEBANON POLICE” – link – Have you ever had to rub one out so bad that you just Facetimed your wife, got down on all fours, and cranked it out at the laundromat? No? Can’t relate. This man looks like he done nutted in his mugshot!
Happy holidays.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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