Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, hit us with those mailbag questions @SoBrosNetwork on Twitter, email ’em to me anonymously at thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com.
Question:
What is a common porn trope you love and what is a common porn trope you hate
— Haus of Tindalos (@Xenoxands) February 11, 2021
Answer:
Can’t put ‘p*rn’ in the headline or G**gle might get mad at me, heaven forbid *rolls eyes* (we actually have been flagged as ‘s*xual content’ before because of some dumb shit I’ve written). So, one trope that I love is the good old-fashioned delivery/cable/pizza guy angle. You know, just show up to do a job and the next thing you know, you’ve got some housewife bent over givin’ her the stone cold steak dinner business. Who didn’t grow up hoping one day they’d be in such a situation? That’s what’s great about adult videos – we can live vicariously through that shit without wrecking any houses and catching some awful STD. Think about this from the delivery guy’s perspective – you’ve got a job you probably hate, dealing with whiny people bitching about whatever you’re out there to fix – and you get a nice little treat like that? That’s what we call a real morale booster – especially if you delivered a pizza. You can eat that to refuel after railing somebody.
One that I hate is the family shit – I’m not trying to kink shame anyone if that’s what you’re into, but for me, it’s just gross. I don’t care that that’s literally your daddy, girl – that’s actually making things worse for me. And, on top of that, it’s insulting my intelligence. I know that’s not really your brother’s hog in your jowl. What do you think I am? Stupid? No – go and ride your granny all you want. I’m out.
Question, from Olivia in person:
What is the best deal you’ve ever gotten?
Answer:
I’ll never forget getting Preds tickets for $3.80 a pop, but that’s a one-night event, y’know? I feel like if we’re talking about the BEST deals I’ve ever gotten, it has to be something that lasted awhile. Free stuff doesn’t count, or else I’d go with the bottle of 12-year Highland Park scotch I got from a whiskey tasting one time. Our recliner from S & E Furniture in Mount Juliet comes to mind, but ultimately, I’m going with this Fiskars POWER TOOTH soft grip saw.
I was in a bind one day, desperately needing a saw for some cleaning up I was doing around my mom’s property….I just happened to see one of these in Target for $12 at the time, so I bought it. I figured “you get what you pay for,” and thought I’d use it for the day’s project but ultimately, it wouldn’t last long. That was….2011, I believe. That little sonofabitch is still kicking in 2021. I use it all the time. Never bought another saw. I’m very proud of Fiskars for creating such a tool.
Question:
What are your top 3 slept on nu metal records?
— vhs guy (@RighteousJesse) February 11, 2021
Whats an underrated valentines gift you got?
Heart shaped pizza. Are you for it? Against it? Or neutral?
Answer:
First question – I went down a weird black metal > nu metal > sad nu metal rabbit hole on Spotify this week. We’re talkin’ Dimmu Borgir and Cradle of Filth into Cold and “Bother” by Stone Sour kinda shit. Those are my roots as a music fan, man – I don’t care what the haters say, nu metal will always have a special place in my heart, and you have to return to your roots every once in awhile. So, slept on nu metal albums?
Man, I’d like to sit down and really think about this (maybe I will), but off the top of my head, I’m going:
3. Flaw – Through the Eyes
2. 36 Crazyfists – Bitterness the Star
1. American Head Charge – The War of Art
I’m being legit here – that American Head Charge album is one of my favorite of all time. It was one of those CDs I had on fucking repeat for WEEKS at a time back in the day. If we’re talking individual songs, man – “Medicated” by Downthesun went fucking HARD, and I feel like no one talks about it! Can I add the soundtrack from the 2004 Punisher movie in here, too?
Second question – I’m actually going with something my mother bought my fiancé and I as Valentine’s Day gifts. We got her a massive, warm, thick fleece blanket for Christmas one year, and we kept talking about how soft and cozy that shit was. So, she went out and bought a couple for us and gave ’em to us on Valentine’s Day. This was probably seven years ago, and we still use those damn blankets to this day – I hope they never leave us.
Third question – I’m gonna fuck it up all the same, but if it allows me to get away with pizza as our Valentine’s Day dinner, then HELL YEAH I’m for it!
Question:
Also please rank the following Gatorade flavors-
— vhs guy (@RighteousJesse) February 11, 2021
Yellow, red, orange, blue, and light blue
Answer:
This is an easy one for me – yellow is the GOAT….there is nothing on Earth that hits you in the chest when you need it most quite like an ice cold yellow Gatorade. Light blue is easily 2nd, and then the rest are kind of jumbled up for me. I think I’d go orange then blue then red. I almost never got red Gatorade as a kid, but learned to appreciate it as a grown ass man.
Question:
With out telling us the category give us your top 5
— Steven McCash (@MC_Cash75) February 12, 2021
Answer:
- Autumn Woods
- Home for the Holidays
- Hot Buttered Rum
- Coconut Bay
- Sparkling Snow
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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