On December 31, 2022, I had my first ever experience at Buc-ee’s. Prior to that, I’d only ever heard about this oasis in the desert. There weren’t any near me here in Nashville, Tennessee – but that has changed and it continues to change. First, the store in Crossville opened up. That’s the one my wife and I stopped at on our way back from a road trip to New Jersey. Now, there’s one open in Athens, Alabama, where my wife and I just stopped on a trip down to Florida. I’m not as starved for Buc-ee’s as I once was, but it’s still infrequent that I’m able to stop by. That’s why I always try to make it count when we do stop…because it is something. I’ve tried describing Buc-ee’s to someone who isn’t familiar with it, and I just don’t think it’s possible. You have to see it to believe it. Nonetheless, I’ve decided to rank everything I’ve tried at the fabled beaver mecca.
Note: I will be updating this list with every trip I make to Buc-ee’s to try something new. Consider this a running list, and everything I’ve tried through December of 2023 is on this list. To be continued…
Buc-ee’s Power Rankings
29. Coffee – I’ve only tried their coffee on the back leg of a nine-hour road trip, coming through town at 6PM, so maybe I didn’t get a cup from the freshest pot, but it just tasted like regular ol’ gas station coffee to me.
28. Double fudge brownie – One layer of ‘dry’ and one layer of ‘mushy’ made for an odd textural experience. No thanks.
27. Chili lime peanuts – I ate the whole bag because I was fascinated by these things, but they were the most lime flavored things I’ve ever eaten…to the point these peanuts were sour.
26. Chili cheese’n crackers – I loved the idea of some flavored oyster crackers, but the chili cheese flavor is so salty it stings the nostrils. It tastes a bit like Taco Bell meat to me.
26. Chili Limon pork rinds – Okay, maybe I’m just not quite vibing with the chili lime flavor from Buc-ee’s. I liked it on the chees-ee curls because it’s so concentrated, it clears out your sinuses. But, on the pork rinds, it just tastes watered down and diluted. The pork rinds themselves are fantastic. I ate an entire bag without getting one of the hard ones that breaks your teeth. But it seems like, for me, I need the chili limon flavor to DOUSE them thangs in order to enjoy it.
25. Chicken fajita taco – I’ve had these twice and both times they’ve been a little dry and a little flavorless. Sauce these up a bit and then we’re cookin’ folks.
24. Banana pudding – I think this stuff has literal cake in it? I’m not sure. It wasn’t banana-y enough for me, and was way too sweet, but I’ve had much worse. Banana pudding is something you have to get absolutely right in the south, and I don’t feel they nailed this one.
23. Cinnamon roll – I can’t do sweets in the morning, but for the sake of writing this article, I gave the cinnamon roll a shot. I love the icing, but it’s way too much. It tasted like diabetes on a fork.
22. Butter toffee pecans – They’re good, but I don’t know…something about them just wasn’t very distinguishing from other toffee coated pecans. That’s usually the case with Buc-ee’s snacks, but these just didn’t move the needle as much for me.
21. Jalapeno chees-ee puffs – Great snack…rich, cheesy, and just the right amount of pop from the jalapeno flavor.
20. Beef jerky – I know it’s ‘world famous’ and all, and I definitely don’t want to insinuate that the fine folks at Buc-ee’s aren’t being honest, but I’ve had like five different flavors of this stuff so far and my overarching thought is “it’s just beef jerky.” Do I get it every time we stop? Yes – not because it’s outstanding…but because it’s beef jerky. It’s beef jerky.
19. Breakfast burrito – I got the one that had eggs, cheese, potatoes, bacon, and sausage in it and it was one hefty sumbitch. I found it to be just a tad bit dry, though. Would’ve absolutely loved it if it had some sort of zesty sauce on it to loosen things up a bit and add some pop of flavor.
18. Chicken salad croissant – I’m a huge fan of a fresh baked croissant. Slather some fresh chicken salad on it, and you have a winner. It’s nice and simple, but that freshness makes the difference.
17. Garlic parmesan pretzel stix – A lot of flavor for something that’s supposed to just be dusted with it. These are great, and make for good dipping sticks if you have some sort of onion dip or something to go with ’em.
16. Chopped brisket sandwich – I guess this is the food item…like actual food food item…that Buc-ee’s is best known for? It’s good, bursting with BBQ-ey flavor and hitting just right when you want a hot sandwich.
15. Dark Chocolate cashews – It’s simple. It’s dark chocolate. It’s cashews. Something about their dark chocolate seems particularly rich, though. That’s why I keep coming back to these chocolate covered treats.
14. Habanero pork rinds – Give me pork rinds that have a strong bite and a tangy flavor to ’em any day.
13. Beaver Buddies – Maybe I’m just a dumbass that can’t find ’em in every gas station anymore, but no one seems to make good animal crackers anymore! No one, that is, except for Buc-ee’s.
12. Coconut bar – I grew up getting these things at the Cracker Barrel, but Buc-ee did it even better. It’s nowhere near as dry as those other ones, but it’s packed with straight coconut flavor. This was a nice little call back to my childhood.
11. Chap stick – There ain’t nothin’ worse than needin’ chap stick and not havin’ any. I needed a tube, and Buc-ee’s happened to have one with that darned beaver on it, so I bought it. I didn’t have high hopes for it, but my goodness was I wrong. It’s some of the best chap stick I’ve ever had – it gets the job done, and it has nice subtle flavor to it. Color me shocked.
10. Buc-O’s sweet heat – Sweet and spicy funyuns? Hell yeah, pal.
9. Fudge – I love the fudge, and I love the variety of flavors they offer, but ultimately, it’s still just fudge, and that’s why I have a couple different sweet snacks ahead of it.
8. Nutty Bites – I went with the blueberry pomegranate cashew almond variety. What a pleasant surprise! A snack at Buc-ee’s that doesn’t make me feel like I’m trash after eating it. These nutty bites were the perfect combination of sweet and savory, with the blueberry pomegranate giving the snack a fruity pop.
7. Chees-ee curls – So far, I’ve tried the BBQ and chili limon flavors, and both are just so unusual for a cheese curl, but it works. I can’t explain it. The chili limon flavor is straight up blind heat, though – so heads up, be careful with ’em.
6. Milk chocolate covered coconut almonds – They’re dangerous. Sneaky, smooth, and featuring just the right hint of coconut, it’s my favorite sweet snack I’ve tried from Buc-ee’s so far.
5. Everything but the bagel cashews – The one snack we always come away with. They look kind of gross, but they nail the everything bagel seasoning, and it pairs so well with cashews.
4. Beaver Nuggets – After having the beaver nuggets recommended to me upon every stop I’ve made at Buc-ee’s, I finally pulled the trigger in September of 2023. I will never look back. Crunchy, puffy morsels of brown sugar and corn meal? Why didn’t y’all say that sooner?
3. Fruity pebble rice crispy treat – It’s decadent. It’s sweet as hell. And, it’s different. Nothing touches Fruity Pebbles in terms of breakfast cereal, and as it turns out, they play well with marshmallows.
2. Their bathrooms – You can’t stop at a Buc-ee’s and NOT look at their bathrooms. Even if you don’t have to go, you should still go marvel at how clean they are.
1. Texas Cheesesteak Burrito – It is not of this Earth. It is orgasmic. Meat. Peppers. Onions. Cheese. And, some kind of tangy sauce that ties the whole thing together. I don’t care if I literally finished my last meal as we’re rolling into the parking lot, I’m making room for this bad boy in my belly, even if it means I’m probably shitting my pants later.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
Subscribe to the SoBros Network Patreon here – $5/month gets you instant access to an exhaustive content library of articles, podcasts, and videos created exclusively for our subscribers!