First of all, I have to start this piece with the important question: “whatever happened to the time-honored practice of piercing a single green olive with a toothpick and pinning it to the top of your sandwich?” I digress. I’m here today to discuss one of the wildest cookbooks I’ve ever picked up: Gooseberry Patch Super-Fast Slow Cooking. The paperback copy like I have is currently going for $6.29 on Thriftbooks. I’d advise caution buying used cookbooks though. I look at the cookbooks I use regularly and they’re covered with splatters of sauce, flour caked on the pages, and other food grime. I can’t imagine putting my copy on a shelf somewhere and slapping $5 on it. It has certainly seen better days.
I’m a big time Crockpot guy. We always stay so busy that it makes for the perfect way to have dinner prepped without taking up a bunch of time. I can just throw a bunch of shit in at noon, and by six, dinner is ready. So, I’m always looking for new Crockpot recipes. I actually bought this crazy ass book as a stocking stuffer for my wife the year we moved into our apartment together, so it’s been in our hands for 12 years at this point.
And, make no mistake about it…I absolutely love it. I’ve picked up a few recipes from it that – I fix Chuckwagon Stew every August because it’s a nice precursor to chili season and it gets me in that festive mood like fall is right around the corner. That thing is a pot full of beef, potatoes, onions, and barbecue baked beans. Yeah, buddy. Throughout the years, this thing has been one of the more consistent books I turn to when I need a quick dinner idea.
But, there is some real wild ass shit in this book! I felt compelled to scream it from the mountaintops! Some of it, I’ve tried. Some of it, I’m still working up the courage. All of it, though? An adventure.
Let’s take the “Slow-Cooked Beef Tips,” for example. Beef tips, cream of mushroom soup, onion soup mix, green peppers…no big deal. But, then we had to kick things up a notch with an entire fucking cup of Sprite. We’re putting Sprite in the beef tips! There’s a “Fall-Apart Roast Beef” recipe that calls for a beef chuck roast, garlic, and *checks notes* a cup and a half of fucking HOT BREWED COFFEE! What the fuck? We’re putting an entire can of cola in “Sally’s Supreme Corned Beef.” I mean, we’re just letting our freak flags fly in this thing. That’s not all the cola, though. There’s another “Cola Roast” that is just a 3-pound beef pot roast, pack of onion soup mix, and TWO cans of cola on low for 7-8 hours. Spareribs with ginger beer. Pork chops with lemon. Ribs with apple jelly. How did we get here?
Who is writing these recipes? Is this what people did back in the day when they were bored? Let’s just throw our random shit from the pantry in the Crockpot. I know I sound judgmental here, but for the record, I did try that beef tips with Sprite recipe and it was just not my cup of tea. I’m open-minded and will give anything a shot, but as I was making that dish, I did catch myself thinking “is this what my life has come to?” Anyway, I wanted to share how outrageous this book is with you guys this morning and I think we’ve accomplished that.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, third on Football & Other F Words, co-host of The Hot Read Podcast, analyst for Stacking The Inbox, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, the NFL Draft, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
Elsewhere on the SoBros Network: Check out Stacking The Inbox for premium coverage of the Tennessee Titans and NFL Draft. Subscribe to Nashville Movie Dispatch for all of our movie content. We get weird on Phone It In, the history podcast that explores legendary tales, important historical figures, and events.
Two of the dudes who brought you SoBros Network have teamed up to form Nashville Movie Dispatch, a division of SoBros Network featuring ONLY movie content. We’ve streamlined that content stream so that you no longer have to sift through football talk, food reviews, and the latest viral video of a dude falling off a roof to find our film discourse. You can have our podcasts and reviews delivered directly to your inbox by joining our community on Substack, and you can pick up a copy of our look at the year in film in our 2024 Movie Annual! Here’s what you might’ve missed this week:
Subscribe to Nashville Movie Dispatch for just $5/month or $30/year – podcasts and reviews will always hit your inbox as a free subscriber, but if you want to support the team and access the occasional paid-subscriber-only content and our archives, throw us a few bones each month.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, third on Football & Other F Words, co-host of The Hot Read Podcast, analyst for Stacking The Inbox, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, the NFL Draft, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
Elsewhere on the SoBros Network: Check out Stacking The Inbox for premium coverage of the Tennessee Titans and NFL Draft. Subscribe to Nashville Movie Dispatch for all of our movie content. We get weird on Phone It In, the history podcast that explores legendary tales, important historical figures, and events.
Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, hit us with those mailbag questions @SoBrosNetwork on Twitter, email ’em to me anonymously at thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com. And, holy shit, I need to update this terrible intro paragraph that I’ve been using literally ever since I started writing this column…
Question:
When did you last visit a Trader Joe’s and what did you do whilst there
— Easton Freeze (@eastonfreeze) June 11, 2025
Answer:
Oddly enough, the last time I visited a Trader Joe’s was the first time I visited a Trader Joe’s! And, no I did not expose myself in Trader Joe’s. From what I understand though…that is a common occurrence among Titans fans who have witnessed Cam Ward highlight videos on Twitter. I haven’t felt that compulsion yet, though I did get hyped off of an Elic Ayomanor reception and dip my penis into a jar of hot melted Yankee Candle wax.
My last trip to Trader Joe’s was awesome – we got some buffalo chicken dip, kung pao brussels sprouts, chicken meatballs, and all kinds of treats.
Questions, from Eddie on Twitter:
If I gave you 50 swings. Do you think you could make contact with(don’t have to get a hit) against 100mph fastball?
Would you rather be able to bench 1000lbs or run 50 miles without needing a break?
What TN(or southern in general) cryptid would you most want to play football?
Answer:
Question, from Lowry on Twitter:
Will you listen to a couple Jesse Welles tracks and give your opinion?
Answer:
Scoped out “War Isn’t Murder” and his cover of “Have You Ever Seen the Rain” – I dug it, so I kept the playlist going while I mapped out my initial Titans 53-man roster. It’s not necessarily my cup of tea in the sense that I could sit and listen to an entire album of it in one sitting, but I recognize that it hits the spot for folks who do love this type of music. And, I caught myself putting a couple songs on my Friday playlist. Once every 10-15 songs or so is just my speed for this type of music. I love the gravelly smoky voice, the melodies, and the bare bones essence of a guy and his guitar.
Question:
What’s your favorite color between the RED WHITE AND BLUE BROTHER
— Name (@El_Gringo22I) June 11, 2025
Answer:
It’s red.
Question:
Late addition:
— Eldon English (shrike113) (@shrike4113) June 12, 2025
What would happen to you if the Titans Social Media team took your soul the way they took @eastonfreeze’s today?
Answer:
Question:
What is the one thing you would get arrested for while trying to save and why is is thicc Latinas in Texas….. or yankee candles
— d good (@dgood2075288732) June 12, 2025
Answer:
The real answer, Goody, is kittens.
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, third on Football & Other F Words, co-host of The Hot Read Podcast, analyst for Stacking The Inbox, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, the NFL Draft, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
Elsewhere on the SoBros Network: Check out Stacking The Inbox for premium coverage of the Tennessee Titans and NFL Draft. Subscribe to Nashville Movie Dispatch for all of our movie content. We get weird on Phone It In, the history podcast that explores legendary tales, important historical figures, and events.
For those of you who might still not know despite all of the years of mentioning Aura on SoBros Network podcasts, I married a Jersey girl. Over the course of our nearly 14 years together, I’ve spent my fair share of time in the Garden State. Aura and I were recently up visiting family for the Memorial Day holiday. It just so happened to coincide with our third wedding anniversary. It’s hard to fathom how quickly the time flies, but I digress. These trips are fun, and they always go by so quickly. But, it occurred to my wife and I that in all of these years and all of these visits, we’d never done a true date night in New Jersey…just the two of us…doing something new…with nowhere else to be. I was told when we got up there that we actually had dinner reservations at Nicholas Barrel & Roost on the night of our third wedding anniversary. So, this was a big box for us to check off of our list. And, it certainly helped my indecisiveness in regard to planning the night!
When we arrived at the restaurant, I was taken aback by the ambience. Lit like a charming New York City steakhouse, buzzing with the murmur of the deep conversations that a good meal can bring out among friends and the type of laughter aided by your libation of choice, it felt like a destination…as if this was the place to be in New Jersey that evening. Yet, the farmhouse style interior comforted me – I’m from Nashville, after all. Something about it felt a little like home. At our table, we were greeted by a familiar face, Nahum. Nahum happened to have married into the same family I did. I’m not sure if a brother-in-law-in-law is an actual thing, but I guess if it were, that would be us…brother-in-law-in-laws. Regardless, his title at Nicholas Barrel & Roost is ‘Server.’ The man’s expertise is evident from one conversation with him. I’ve been listening to food, wine, and gin recommendations from him for going on 12 years at this point. It is absolutely a credit to the dining experience to have that sort of knowledge on hand.
We started with drinks. My wife ordered the spicy kiwi margarita. I decided to treat myself with a bourbon flight that featured three bourbons from “The Nicholas Barrel Reserve,” a list of bourbons you can only get at the restaurant or online. The flight featured 1oz pours of exclusive offerings from Bulleit Bourbon, Jeffersons Very Old, and Old Forrester. The Bulleit was my favorite…easily the smoothest without sacrificing any flavor. I picked up on hints of vanilla and caramel in the aroma, and it went down the hatch dangerously. The Jeffersons Very Old brought forth butter pecan notes, and while it was smooth, it was a step up in terms of its punch. The Old Forrester was the most stout of the bunch – it’s enough to put some hair on your chest. I told Nahum that I felt like the Old Forrester was trying to hurt me. Maybe that was just the measure of the man I am – I did feel compelled to hit the gym after trying it. Regardless, they’re all best enjoyed neat…no need to water these bad boys down with melting ice.
Though we had an incredibly strong tip that the fried cheese curds are the appetizer to go with, we followed Nahum’s recommendation of the Vermont cheddar beer cheese, topped with crumbled bacon and scallions. It was served with potato wedges. I’m a sucker for a good potato wedge, and these were some of the best I’ve had. With a baked, fluffy interior and a crispy exterior, they were cooked to the perfect texture. A coating of seasoning added a little zip to the flavor, and it was perfectly balanced out by the rich creamy flavor of the beer cheese. I probably could’ve thrown in the towel at the appetizer – maybe even called for a second order and gone home happy, but alas, we had entrees to order.
Aura went with the seared gulf shrimp saffron risotto. Of course, if I was going to write about the evening, I’d have to try a bite, I told her. It was for the sake of journalism here! Plump shrimp that seem to burst upon that initial bite, a risotto that grounds the flavor and provides a smooth texture to the experience, with the slightest hints of lemon and parmesan…it was like taking in a beautiful painting at an art museum…tasting how the ingredients combined to make for a masterpiece. Myself? I went with the Gobetti pasta…a pasta dish comprised of pulled short rib ragout, garlic and herb olive oil, and shaved pecorino. I’d also received a trustworthy tip that the short rib was fantastic. So, when I read that they offered a dish with short rib -and- pasta? Game over. My mind was made up immediately. The bites of short rib melted like butter in my mouth. With each spoonful, the flavor seemed to seep out and spread across my palate…a savory, hearty dish that warmed the spirit as much as it satiated my appetite.
With drinks, appetizers, and main entrees in the books, it was time for dessert. And, from the moment I laid eyes on the words ‘banana bourbon toffee cake’ on the menu, I knew what my choice would be. Thankfully, Aura agreed. We wouldn’t have to rock, paper, scissors it at the dining room table to determine who got to pick dessert. I can sit here and try all day, and I don’t believe I’ll think of a dessert I’ve ever had that I enjoyed more. From the rich sauce that drowned the cake, the sticky goodness of a coating of toffee over everything, and the ice cream that softened the flavor just when it was threatening to become too decadent, it was a complete dessert. Factor in that it was paired with a port of Nahum’s choosing, and it was the perfect bow to tie on our meal. If only it were still acceptable in 2025 to pull out a pipe and smoke tobacco in a restaurant, I would’ve packed one up and probably fallen asleep at the table.
A good meal for a special occasion means much more than simply eating good food. It’s a big part of it – don’t get me wrong. But, it’s more than that, too. It’s the ability to slow down. It’s the gratitude of good company and conversations that nourish the soul. It’s the chance to leave the worries of the real world behind, if only for a couple of hours. I left Nicholas Barrel & Roost with a relaxed buzz (don’t worry – I wasn’t driving) and a full belly. That was all well and good, but where this restaurant really excelled was in the care of the service and the quality of the environment. I didn’t just feel satisfied. I felt restored. For a guy that works a lot and typically runs pretty hot, that’s important to me. It was one of the best meals I’ve had in quite a long time.
For more on Nicholas Barrel & Roost, check out their website here. It’s a shame I don’t have a “New Jersey restaurant power rankings” on the site the way I do for Nashville. Nicholas Barrel & Roost would surely top that list. If you ever catch yourself in the Red Bank area, I can’t recommend stopping by enough. 10/10.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, third on Football & Other F Words, co-host of The Hot Read Podcast, analyst for Stacking The Inbox, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, the NFL Draft, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
Elsewhere on the SoBros Network: Check out Stacking The Inbox for premium coverage of the Tennessee Titans and NFL Draft. Subscribe to Nashville Movie Dispatch for all of our movie content. We get weird on Phone It In, the history podcast that explores legendary tales, important historical figures, and events.
Imagine for a moment 2.3 million gallons of molasses rushing through the streets. It seems like a scene from a Roald Dahl story. But, in Boston in 1919, it happened. And, it was bad. Moving at high speeds, the molasses spread throughout the town. People were dragged under. Buildings were damaged. Once the molasses began to cool, it became difficult to navigate. People actually died. It’s one of the wilder incidents I remember us discussing on Phone It In in our 81-episode history. In a particularly off-the-rails episode, Rooster and I try to comprehend what this flood looked like, from visualizing 2.3 million gallons of molasses to trying to determine whether or not you could eat your way out of the flood. They say that certain parts of Boston still smell like molasses on hot summer days. If that’s not a tourism draw, I don’t know what is.
If you haven’t already, subscribe to Phone It In on Apple Podcasts, follow us on Spotify, or you can simply smash that play button on the embed below to fire up our latest episode on one of the weirdest accidents in American history, the Great Molasses Flood of 1919:
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, third on Football & Other F Words, co-host of The Hot Read Podcast, analyst for Stacking The Inbox, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, the NFL Draft, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
Elsewhere on the SoBros Network: Check out Stacking The Inbox for premium coverage of the Tennessee Titans and NFL Draft. Subscribe to Nashville Movie Dispatch for all of our movie content. We get weird on Phone It In, the history podcast that explores legendary tales, important historical figures, and events.
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