When you receive an invitation to a proper New England wedding in Newport, Rhode Island, well, you jump at the chance to make a weekend out of it. That was the case for my wife, Aura, and me just a few weeks ago as a cousin was tying the knot. Prior to meeting my wife, I had never been further north than Cincinnati. That changed when I flew up to New Jersey to meet her family in 2012. Then it changed again in 2021 when we hopped on a train from Matawan and headed into New York City for my first trip there. And, finally, my “furthest trip north” metric has updated again to Rhode Island. Keep your eyes open for me, Maine – at this rate, I’ll see you in a few years.
We had three nights in town and knew that we had to make the most out of it. Aura and I are champions of efficiency. We seized the opportunity to take a couple college tours with our niece while we were on this trip. I’ll spare you the travel blog on Storrs, Connecticut. Though, it probably wouldn’t be that long…something like “really cute small town and massive college campus.” There. We’re good. I bring it up to say that our stroll across UConn’s campus meant we wouldn’t actually hit Rhode Island until about 2PM, making for a later start on Day 1.
Our destination on that first night was a quant little motel in North Kingstown (about 10 minutes northeast of and across a couple of bays from Newport) named the Hamilton Village Inn. With an hour or so to spare before we could check into our hotel, Aura decided we should drive on in to Newport, drive around, and scope things out. I’m a big bridge fan. To drive out over not one, but two, bays and see the sailboats and lighthouse strewn about across the water was awesome. When we eventually made Newport, I wanted to park the car and walk around right away. It’s a town that just feels ripe with history. The architecture and the town’s layout feel like something from a bygone era. There were restaurants and shops on the waterfront, and plenty to hold our attention. But, it was just a slight preview of what was to come. We were exhausted – that Wednesday, my wife and I had driven up from Nashville…14 hours in a car to Matawan, New Jersey. We slept for a few hours and hit the road towards Connecticut at 5AM Thursday morning. After walking around that campus, it was another hour in the car to Rhode Island. Needless to say, we were absolutely gassed.
My wife has this awesome rule on family vacations. I’m not quite sure where she got it, but the rule is that everyone gets to pick one thing that they HAVE to do before we go home. My thing? A brewery. I mean, come on…look at this gut. You guys can see from space that I love beer. But, generally speaking, I do love immersing myself in the locale I’m visiting – art, food, history…and yes, perhaps most importantly, beer. My buddy Dan lives in the area and he sent me a few suggestions for places to visit while we were there. Among them was Ragged Island Brewing. I took his word for it, and I told Aura and our niece, “that’s my thing.” I didn’t realize it was 25 minutes north of Newport, and that they didn’t serve food (we had a hankering for some apps), and I justly took my lumps for dragging us out there. But, before we made our trek back to the Hamilton Village Inn, I enjoyed a couple of really good IPAs. The apple cinnamon seltzer stole the show, though. I still don’t know if it’s actually up on their menu, but the barkeep coaxed me into it. I’m a sucker for a good seltzer, and aside from the King Cake seltzer I had at Wingman Brewing in Mobile, Alabama, this one was the best. It tasted sweet…like a baked apple in the fall. The views of the bay were relaxing. I loved the greenhouse set up in front of the place. And, I caught myself thinking I wished I had more time to enjoy a sunset there or something.
We made the 32-minute drive back to the hotel, cleaned up a bit, and had a little rest. Aura had scouted some potential dinner locations and landed on a spot in the charming Wickford Village that wasn’t even a mile up the road. Known for historic, old-timey feeling shops and a quaint dining scene, it was certainly picturesque. I can only imagine how beautiful this region of the country is during the fall. Aura pitched a restaurant named ‘Wickford on the Water’ for dinner, and man…you guys ever get that feeling on vacation when you’ve been running around so much that you don’t even realize how drained you are? Then, you sit down for a meal and it all hits you at once. I think that was us on that evening. When the meal actually clicks, then it’s like an out-of-body experience. The fish and chips I had that night felt transcendent. I started with a coconut lime margarita that I’m still thinking about to this day…the usual tang of a lime margarita balanced by the smooth coconut…fantastic. And, we managed to get our niece to try some lobster with an order of lobster mac and cheese as an appetizer. 10/10 experience – the type that fills your stomach as much as it does your heart.
We capped off the meal with a stroll down the street to Village Ice Cream Co, where I ordered a peach milkshake. It was a beautiful evening. Late June, and I was wearing a hoodie just to find comfort down by the water. It was a welcome change from the searing heat of Tennessee. By this point in the day, we were on the verge of collapse. After so much running around, it was time to get some sleep. I checked my phone. It read 7:53PM. That was my last memory of the day.
We slept in for a bit, which is to say that we slept past 4:30AM for a change. The beds at Hamilton Village Inn were comfortable, and the room was cool enough for my fat sweaty ass to sleep in like a baby. If you haven’t picked up on it, my wife is a bit of a scout on trips. She’d already found a diner for us nearby: Linda’s Diner. It was the real deal. Good coffee and just about anything you could think of off the menu. I had the Mexican omelette (jalapeños, sour cream, cheese, and salsa) with some rye toast. We noticed something on the menu called “Johnny cakes,” and had no idea what those were. Naturally, that meant that we were going to actually order the Johnny cakes, which ended up closely resembling grit cakes. Rave reviews all around for Linda’s Diner.
From there, we ventured into Narragansett, where we parked and loaded up on coffee from Cool Beans Cafe. We took a stroll over to The Towers. A local vendor had set up selling some art in the information center, so we did some light shopping and discussed the history of this amazing structure. We stood by the bay for a few moments, allowing the wind to wash over us and listen to the soothing sounds of waves crashing. Stacks of rocks were placed every few feet along the coastline, a practice that the area must be known for given the photos of the rock stacks in local gift shops. It was a beautiful place, quiet early in the morning, but filled to the brim with nature’s splendor. We hopped in the car for another college tour – this time, it was at the University of Rhode Island. It was much smaller than UConn’s campus, but it still took me back to my college days. That reminds me…I never did go back and get my Masters degree…maybe now is the time.
This is where the rest of the family meets up with us, as we set out to meet up with the rest of the gang. My father in law booked a massive AirBnB in Middletown for us all to stay in. It was gorgeous, seemingly popping out of a book you’d find sitting on your coffee table that profiles quintessential New England homes. I stood on the back patio of the home and imagined myself spending the summer there, listening to the breeze blow past the open windows as I write my next book. Someday, someone will find it on a shelf in a random book store and say, “man, he wrote this that fateful summer in Rhode Island.”
We made way for Newport proper, starting our piddling around with a hearty lunch at Buskers Pub. We didn’t have too much time to experience the depths of Newport’s food scene, but I was told that the town offered whatever cuisine you desired. This time, it was that of the Irish. We started off with Scotch eggs, as any meal in an Irish pub should. It wasn’t enough, so we had to order the Irish sausage rolls as well. I had he corned beef and cabbage with mashed potatoes and smashed carrots and parsnips, which sounds so incredibly Irish just typing it out. It was all incredibly fulfilling.
Walking out of that restaurant, I wondered how I was going to make it through the evening. I could’ve had a rest and never gotten up again. Thankfully, Newport offers plenty to peruse, and my bloating could’ve used a good walking off. So, shopping it was. We didn’t veer off too far from the car since we were on a bit of a time crunch. But, we walked by souvenir shops, bakeries, stores selling beef jerky, and the like while a man sat on the street playing an accordion. Art galleries popped up every few shops, and it made me realize how artful the town is itself, each shop a different color than the last.
We went back to our AirBnB and readied ourselves for an evening at the International Tennis Hall of Fame. It was a beautiful affair – the weather was just right, cool enough to enjoy the company of family and friends on a grass court. We caught up with loved ones, we dined, and we filled up our cups in a way that only the celebration of a great budding love can. Hell of a spot for a party. As the night would wind down, we’d find ourselves back at our AirBnB, cigar smoke drifting in the air out back, cold beers in hand, and a card game or two to prep us for a night’s rest. For all the tourist attractions that come with a good vacation, how is it that it always ends up being those quiet nights together, with little more than a deck of cards, that end up meaning the most to us?
Feeling particularly restful (I like a rock hard bed), Aura and I got up in search of a local coffee shop to try. We landed on Custom House Coffee, where I enjoyed a dark roast with a shot of coconut flavor. We took our coffee over to Easton’s Beach to chill and watch the waves roll in to start our day. We contemplated a time when we could sneak off to partake in the Cliff Walk, but it just wasn’t in the cards for us. We made it back to the AirBnB to discover a collection of quiches from Le Bec Sucré, one of which was a mushroom spinach quiche that I could eat every morning for the rest of my life and be content with it.
With a little time to spare, Aura and I managed to sneak off for an impromptu lunch date, just the two of us. It was drizzling and overcast, but it didn’t dampen the mood at all. The Mooring was one of the more positively reviewed spots on all of the “places to eat in Newport” lists, and as we’ve already established, my wife is nothing if not a vacation scout. So, our minds were made up before I even knew it. I got to try some real New England clam chowder before we feasted on a meal we concocted of appetizer orders – crab toast and shrimp lobster fritters that reminded me of giant hush puppies with shrimp and lobster cooked in. I washed it all down with a couple IPAs, and buddy, I was in wedding mode. After lunch, I found a book store…just gotta do it in every town I visit. I picked up a few things from Charter Books and we disappeared to the confines of our AirBnB to get ready for the night to come.
This is where the wedding takes over, and I leave you all for a brief reprieve. These things are personal and meant only to share with our loved ones. I’m not in the business of reviewing family weddings. See you all in the morning.
Back to Custom House Coffee. This time, it was with our bags packed and ready for the drive back to New Jersey. When we were roaming around the area after lunch the day before, Aura and I had discovered Sachuest Point National Wildlife Refuge and thought it’d be a great place for morning coffee. So, that’s where we landed – a nice stroll along the trail that butted up next to the coast line. Birds chirping, waves crashing against the shore, the occasional screech of a seagull. It was so peaceful – one of those places that just connects you to nature…your roots. I caught myself thinking I didn’t want to leave just yet.
In what was essentially just a long three-day weekend, we missed a lot of the more famous tourist attractions in the area. If only we’d had one more day to explore! Still, it was enough to feel the history and the natural beauty that the Newport area offers. It was enough to try the fresh seafood, to shop in cute boutiques, to find a sailboat ornament that reads ‘Newport’ to hang on the Christmas tree come December, and to slow down to feel the ocean breeze. It was a fantastic spot to celebrate family with as well…a special trip to a special place.
To help visualize the logistics of this trip, I made this little Google map with my face on it representing all the places we spent some time at:
And, here are a few links to check out the places we visited if you happen to be planning a visit to Rhode Island:
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, second on Football & Other F Words, analyst for Stacking The Inbox, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, the NFL Draft, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
Elsewhere on the SoBros Network: Check out Stacking The Inbox for premium coverage of the Tennessee Titans and NFL Draft. Subscribe to Nashville Movie Dispatch for all of our movie content. We get weird on Phone It In, the history podcast that explores legendary tales, important historical figures, and events.
Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, hit us with those mailbag questions @SoBrosNetwork on Twitter, email ’em to me anonymously at thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com. And, holy shit, I need to update this terrible intro paragraph that I’ve been using literally ever since I started writing this column…
Question:
Should liver and onions be permanently banned?
— Ed Helinski 🇺🇸🇵🇱 🌴 (@MrEd315) July 9, 2025
Answer:
Ed, I have no idea! I’m at a loss on this one – I’ve never actually eaten liver and onions. I know it’s always had a bad reputation for being absolutely disgusting. I think there’s pretty good evidence to support that claim
Question:
1. How's pepper doing?
— eddie (@wondernomma) July 9, 2025
2. How many seagulls would you have to find in your house before you start becoming suspicious someone is putting them there?
3. Will you still be writing for stacking the inbox when the new gig starts?
Answer:
Pepper is doing great, Eddie – Aura and I were just talking about how far she’s come. I mean, we brought her home with a swollen jaw, a thousand-yard gaze, and the vet acted surprised that she made it through the night. Now, she’s bouncing off of the walls.
We’ve had her for about five weeks now and she’s acclimated just fine so far. She’s still getting used to roaming around the house on her own. Since she’s so young, she can’t be trusted on her own at night, so we’re still putting her in our guest room at night to sleep, but she understands the assignment. Doesn’t even meow or scratch at the door – just seems to understand that we’re going to go to sleep and when we wake up, she’s going to be the first thing we tend to. We’ve been so surprised at how gentle and patient Bucky has been throughout this whole thing. This dude is 17 pounds and could literally smother Pepper if he wanted to, but he tends to look after her as if she’s his own. That is, until she bites one of his hind legs. Then, we hear the hiss. Here’s a photo of him trying his best to sleep on a pile of dirty clothes and Pepper being an absolute hellion, not letting him rest:
I could’ve sworn I heard that sea gull question somewhere before so I Googled it – it didn’t return any results, so I must be thinking of something else, but I’m howling at Google’s AI response to the question: “Finding even one seagull in your house would be cause for suspicion, as they are wild birds that typically don’t enter homes. While one might be dismissed as a fluke, the second one would likely trigger suspicion, and anything beyond that would strongly suggest someone is deliberately placing them there.”
Yeah, man…I’m in fucking Mount Juliet, Tennessee. If I see ONE sea gull in my house, I’m thinking somebody put it there.
As for Stacking The Inbox, rest assured that all of my Titans and NFL Draft writings will still publish on Stacking The Inbox. There may be some (positive) changes for subscribers coming soon, but I’ll let Zach announce those when he’s ready. Bottom line – if you’re keeping up with my work on Stacking The Inbox, it’s still going to be there. And also, thank you for your support.
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, second on Football & Other F Words, analyst for Stacking The Inbox, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, the NFL Draft, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
Elsewhere on the SoBros Network: Check out Stacking The Inbox for premium coverage of the Tennessee Titans and NFL Draft. Subscribe to Nashville Movie Dispatch for all of our movie content. We get weird on Phone It In, the history podcast that explores legendary tales, important historical figures, and events.
I remember the first time I took my wife, Aura, to Gatlinburg, Tennessee she mentioned that she had a region that was kind of like it back home. She’s from New Jersey, not too far from the Poconos, and while there are certainly some differences, she always said she wanted to take me there because she knew how much I loved the Smoky Mountains. On Memorial Day weekend, we had a trip to Bethlehem planned for Bobfest at the Musikfest Café. Bethlehem is only about an hour or so away from a popular little getaway hub named Jim Thorpe. When we realized we’d be so close, we knew we’d have to squeeze in a quick trip before the show. Thankfully, we had a good tour guide, our friend Jess, who lives in the area and made sure we maximized our stroll through town.
We rolled into town from the south side, driving down the hill from Lehighton. Jess swore it offered the best views of the mountains – who am I to argue with her? It was breathtaking. The road hugged the mountain. One side was rock and trees, but the other was open air, distant mountains, and the Lehigh River at the bottom of the decline. Between the sights and the cooler temperatures for that time of year (I had to wear a hoodie! And, I’m a fat guy!), I would’ve been content driving in with the windows down at 10MPH just to soak it all in. Once the town came into view, I noticed how quaint it was – it made it feel like a veritable oasis in the mountains more than a vacation hub.
That’s more my speed, anyway. Who needs tourist attractions when you can simply stand by the river and listen to the leaves blow in the wind and the rushing river? What is it with the masculine urge to just stand by a river, anyway? I digress. We pulled into town, saw the famous clock tower and the train, both of which caught my attention right off the bat. We parked in the lot by the river and followed the trail back into town. That’s when I couldn’t help myself – I told Aura and Jess, “I gotta go down to the water.” I did….a moment’s peace….worth it.
After getting myself some of that fresh mountain air, we walked into town. We scoped out an antique store or two, Jess treated us to a walk through the Dimmick Memorial Library, and we ventured up Broadway until we hit The Mauch Chunk Opera House. Obviously, we didn’t have time for a show, but it looked like a beautiful venue. We found a solid hippy store and did a lap before we settled in for lunch.
Let me tell you – Notch Eight Craft House far exceeded my expectations for a lunch spot in a sleepy vacation pocket in the mountains. They had a solid beer list chock full of local brews. Usually, I like to drink what the locals drink. But, on this trip, the temptation to try the Campfire Old Fashioned proved to be too great. Bourbon, smoked maple syrup, black walnut bitters, and roasted marshmallows…who could blame me? It was a fantastic cocktail, one that was sweet enough to enjoy, but potent enough to savor slowly.
A round of appetizers was the move for us. We opted to order a few items and just graze for an hour or so. We ordered a quesadilla that I can’t even remember what was in it (the perks of writing a travel blog five weeks after your trip), turkey burnt end egg rolls, Nashville hot bao, and currywurst fries. Props to Notch Eight for getting the “Nashville hot” flavor just right. Being from Nashville, I’ve developed a motto to live by: “never get ‘Nashville hot’ away from Nashville.” At the same time, my curiosity gets the better of me and I have to know. Notch Eight nailed it, and I’m glad we tried it. It was such a good lunch – my personal favorite was the currywurst fries, though. Nice spice, a little heat, sausage…fries…I mean, hell…I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.
We finished our meal and noticed we were pressing on our time limit of “generally speaking, a couple of hours.” So, we began our trek back down Broadway and to the car to head to Bethlehem for the show. We dipped into a book store, another hippy/witchy store, a cute clothing boutique, and of course, the Jim Thorpe Visitors Center (I had to learn more about the history of the place – it’s low key my favorite (or “the most boring,” depending on who you ask) part of any vacation I take). From a shopping and dining standpoint, there was a little bit of everything to offer. It was only a fleeting afternoon, but I felt myself longing for a couple of days there just to get a better feel for it. I wanted time to slow down, and Jim Thorpe felt like a town where things slow down.
It strikes me as the type of place that’s perfect for a weekend getaway. I’m not sure if it’ll hold your attention for an entire week unless you’re the outdoorsy type…and to be fair, I’m told there’s an entire half of Jim Thorpe that we didn’t have time to explore. But, it’s so peaceful. It’s a place where nature shines. I’m already thinking of ways we can work in a trip during the fall to hop on that train and see the leaves all throughout the mountains.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, second on Football & Other F Words, analyst for Stacking The Inbox, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, the NFL Draft, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
Elsewhere on the SoBros Network: Check out Stacking The Inbox for premium coverage of the Tennessee Titans and NFL Draft. Subscribe to Nashville Movie Dispatch for all of our movie content. We get weird on Phone It In, the history podcast that explores legendary tales, important historical figures, and events.
About
SoBros Network
SoBros Network is a collective of individuals based in Nashville who share a passion for celebrating what they love. Be it sports, entertainment, podcasting, or a well-timed fart joke, SoBros deliver simultaneously the highest caliber and the lowest brow achievable.
© 2024 SoBros Network. All rights reserved.
