Tank The 401K: D-Generation X Edition

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A fourth of the college football season is already over. That is both astonishing and depressing, but we here at the SoBros Network have a moral obligation to provide our unique insight on the upcoming week in American football.

While you’ve undoubtedly observed a moment of silence for that sobering thought, the show must go on. What isn’t depressing is the fact that I’ve teamed up with SEC power rankings guru, Bill Griffin, to pump out this week’s Tank the 401k.

The D-Generation X of football predictions is back together, so let’s get right to the picks!

Bill’s picks

Last week, I went 3 for 5 on my picks. Some might say that a 60% is a failing grade. I prefer to think of .600 as a helluva batting average.

It’s all about perspective, folks.

Disclaimer: Same thing as last week. Bet as you see fit. You’re an adult. Probably.

Let’s win some monies!

CFB: Mississippi State +2.5 at Auburn

Why is Auburn favored? Does anyone really know? I’m being serious. Auburn will be starting a redshirt freshman on Saturday because Gus Malzahn has already lost faith in the preseason Heisman hopeful Jeremy Johnson. A quarterback change won’t help the defense stop Dak Prescott. This is free money folks.

CFB: Tennessee at Florida, Over 48

Do I know who is going to win this game? Absolutely not. But here’s what I do know: expect a lot of points. While Florida has a talented secondary, they’re run defense leaves much to be desired. Unfortunately for the Gators, UT is bringing Jalen Hurd and Alvin Kamara to the Swamp. The Vols’ defense hasn’t exactly found its’ rhythm yet. Take the over.

CFB: Oklahoma State -3 at Texas

Admittedly, I don’t know much about OK State. But do I really need to? I know that Texas is terrible and is suffering from a catastrophic derailment right now. I’ll probably bet against Texas all season. Nothing personal, Longhorns.

Ridiculous Bet of the Week
CFB: Ole Miss -24.5 vs. Vanderbilt

I don’t think this is ridiculous, but I’m counting it anyway. Ole Miss has proven they can score points. Vandy has proven that they have new jerseys. Ole Miss will score 50. Vandy might scrape up a field goal or two. This line opened at -28. I would’ve taken that, too.

Lock of the Week
CFB: Texas A&M -7 vs. Arkansas

This is a “neutral site” game……in Texas. The Aggies are completely dominating right now. Arkansas is about to be 1-3 and another coach can talk about Bret Bielema getting his ass kicked Kliff Kingsbury style. I don’t believe for a second that Arkansas can stop Kyle Allen. I also don’t believe they can get anything going against the new John Chavis defense. This line opened with A&M -3. If you jumped on that, good for you. Easy money.

You’re welcome, America.

Stoney’s Picks

NFL: Indianapolis @ Tennessee, OVER 45

Neither team in this contest is stopping anyone, but I haven’t seen enough out of either team to warrant picking against the spread. Regardless of who wins, this contest could end up with two scores in the thirties. Marcus Mariota has six touchdown passes through two games, and looks to bounce back after an average game in Cleveland. Indianapolis is itching for a breakout game, and this could be it. Get your popcorn, ready – there ought to be plenty of fireworks at Nissan Stadium on Sunday.

CFB: Boston College -4 vs. Northern Illinois

No, Boston College hasn’t beaten anyone of note so far in 2015, but they’re still a solid team with a great defense. They proved as much against Florida State. Including that game, they’re only allowing 5.7 points per game. The Golden Eagles held a Seminoles team that is averaging 35.7 points per game to just 14 points. Also, look for the emotional letdown factor to play a part after Northern Illinois went toe-to-toe with Ohio State last week.

NFL: Cincinnati +3 @ Baltimore

This line has shifted to +2.5 on some books, but if you can get this at +3, you absolutely should. Baltimore just doesn’t have a spark, and outside of New England, Cincinnati looks like the most complete team in the AFC. Andy Dalton has yet to throw an interception, while Joe Flacco has thrown three. Jimmy Smith had his hands full with Amari Cooper, and it won’t get any easier this week when AJ Green comes to town.

CFB: Missouri +3 @ Kentucky

Kentucky’s margin of victory in wins is 6.5, and South Carolina and Louisiana-Lafayette can hardly boast formidable defenses. When faced with an elite Florida defense, Kentucky only posted nine points. Expect more of the same when Missouri’s stifling defense comes to Lexington.

CFB: USC -5.5 @ Arizona State

Last week was a gut punch for the Trojans, who were my original dark horse team to make it into the College Football Playoff. Unfortunately for the Sun Devils, they are going to be the victim of a vengeful USC offense that is averaging nearly 50 points a game. Cody Kessler has Heisman aspirations, and though Arizona State stunned USC last season, their defense isn’t strong enough to contain explosive offenses. See: week one, vs. Texas A&M.

Bill is (3-2) on the season, (3-2) last week
Stoney is (4-6) on the season, (2-3) last week

Bill Griffin is the lead SEC contributor for the SoBros Network, and serves as our resident expert on the human anatomy, fixin’ stuff, and tomatoes. Follow him on Twitter, @Winter_Griffin

Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @PFSpot, @WrestlingNewsCo

Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork

(Credit image to The Big Lead)

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