In the simple world that is man-to-man communication, a guy’s first impression is often validated or undone by one uncomplicated move: the handshake. It means everything in the dynamic of how your budding bromance develops, as the two involved parties will likely always remember how the first hand shake went.
A handshake can mean many things – respect, greetings, good-byes, “pleasure doing business with you,” “solid work,” “I see you,” “good game,” and many more that aren’t even on my radar as I write this.
Things will happen naturally that you will intrinsically feel a need to shake hands over.
I shake hands every day with my boy Oaks after we decompress in a best-of-three ping pong series at work. First of all, that’s what champions do whether they win or lose. You always respect your opponent. Second of all, it’s a silent nod and veiled way of saying “Thanks for making this day suck less, man.”
But, even professional hand-shakers like myself and Oaks realize the importance of the social gesture. If I mess one up, and send him a jumbled mess of misplaced fingers to deal with, I apologize and request a re-do. Likewise, if I’m too premature with my squeezing and shuffle a few knuckles, we call a mulligan.
You have to get it right.
Because – you might not realize it – your handshake says a lot about the man you are and the type of man you are going to be in this new relationship. If I extend my hand, and you give me a firm, cheerful handshake, I immediately know that you are a respectful, confident, and engaging man.
If I extend my hand only to receive a limp fish handshake, I will automatically judge you. For one, I don’t understand if I’m supposed to grip tightly and shake (that’s what she said), or if I’m supposed to bend over and kiss your hand.
I understand a solid handshake, but am not very well-versed in cultures of the world. I know in some places, I am supposed to kiss your hand, maybe your face…..I don’t know. Now, I’m uncomfortable.
I can’t stand the limp fish guys….how can you not understand the message you are sending to every other man whose hand you shake? It strikes me as submissive, a mark of disinterest, and just overall insecurity.
You’re probably going to be upset when I inevitably crack jokes at your expense, and probably won’t be game for an all-out Royal Rumble once we’re all drunk. You will probably say “gross!” when one of us farts and be the only one in the group not laughing, and you will be the one to call the authorities if we decided we’d rather throw this old vacuum cleaner off of the roof and into the parking lot of our apartment complex instead of taking it down and throwing it in the dumpster.
I’m not really interested in that kind of friend OR business partner. Be hearty, and let me know you are excited for life!
Unfortunately, my inspiration for this post came after an evening spent enjoying live music and cold beer with my girlfriend and her co-workers last night. I met one of the higher-ups there, and because of a slip in concentration, totally went limp wrist on him.
I was so incredibly embarrassed. We simply could not get out of that place fast enough. I’m going to have a hard time ever showing my face around this group again.
See, what happened was – I couldn’t hear anything, so as he’s extending his hand, I haphazardly extend mine, lean in to hear him better, but forget to focus on getting my hand in position for a five-star handshake.
I handed him four fingers, which he crumbled easily. I may have even winced (the worst handshake offense of them all). Regardless, this man undoubtedly thinks I am a complete and utter bitch.
And, honestly – I earned that.
On the other end of the spectrum, I also can’t stand the wrist breakers who aim to establish immediate control and dominance upon meeting. You’re going to be the guy who gets drunk and tries to fight all of us (for real – not the pro wrestling that is accepted and encouraged in our social circle). You will be the boss that has us getting you coffee, and then throwing it in our face because we only put one Splenda in it as opposed to two. You might try and hit us with your car in the parking garage because it amuses you. Plain and simple: you’re just a dick, and no one really respects you.
You, sir, can go right to hell.
Some solid advice for your day-to-day life and in business: find yourself somewhere in the middle, but be very aware of what your handshake is saying to your newfound homeboy.
Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @PFSpot, @WrestlingNewsCo
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