What the internet deemed “disappointing,” I thoroughly enjoyed. I think this continues to be one of if not the best seasons in Game of Thrones history. Too many words to type – I’m just going to dive in…
1. The Hound continues to be Comeback Player of the Year. Not only did we see The Hound bust heads, but he also delivered some of the greatest quotes of the series. “You’re shit at dying” comes to mind immediately. It’s apparent he’s going to end up traveling North to wreck the White Walkers with the Brotherhood Without Banners, and I’m totally on board.
Hot take alert: Was his piss in the river sly symbolism that we weren’t going to meet Lady Stoneheart once and for all? Props to HBO for keeping up with the male nudity, too. Us men get lots of boobs, but the ladies get The Hound’s dick. Hot stuff.
2. Calm down with the Arya hate. Don’t get it – don’t get it at all. Reddit theories are fun – that’s a huge part of the week leading up to an episode and the morning after a new one. That being said, if you buy into something that doesn’t come true – that’s on you. You’re letting your own preference dictate your enjoyment of a show instead of just sitting back and watching it. So, if you’re disappointed in the Arya storyline, that’s on you. You expected too much.
I’ve thought it was boring for two seasons now. The crazy theories were fun, but I felt all along that the simplest explanation was probably the most likely. She went to Braavos to train with the Faceless Men to become a badass assassin. She killed The Waif. She supplied a face to replace her own. Now, she’s free.
For those who are still complaining about how she acted “out of character” by getting stabbed in broad daylight….Arya has been cocky for the better part of this series. I fail to see how she acted out of character. She’s a teenager FFS.
Sometimes, storylines are going to simply be about character development. Not everything is going to end in a massive gasp-inducing twist. The same people complaining about it are the same people who would be complaining if all we saw of Arya was her go off to Braavos and return a badass.
“Oh what? She’s gone for a couple of seasons and is all of a sudden a highly-trained assassin.”
Give me a break.
The implications of this are still pretty big – Arya’s about to head North, and ol’ Jaqen H’Ghar throwing some serious intrigue into the fold. Was this his plan all along? I think there’s still some mystery here. We haven’t seen the last of him.
3. Cersei is going insane. First things first – King Tommen completed the heel turn of the century by obliterating any hope of Clegane Bowl going down in a trial by combat. This is the Game of Thrones equivalent of Hulk Hogan joining the nWo. Really, having Clegane Bowl for Cersei’s trial by combat made no sense whatsoever to begin with. The Hound was far removed from King’s Landing – how would he return? Why would the High Sparrow elect a champion whom he’d never known? A man who has no apparent advantage over The Mountain. Just didn’t add up.
By eliminating trial by combat from the Seven Kingdoms, Tommen basically ensured that Cersei and Loras would not win this battle. In doing so, he shows that he’s just about completely surrendered power to the High Sparrow.
This development doesn’t sit well with Cersei, who asks Qyburn if “the rumors” are true. I can only imagine she’s referring to the stash of wildfire beneath King’s Landing.
As she descends into madness, she’s going to burn that sumbitch to the ground. Just watch.
4. Dany’s back, and the Masters ain’t too happy. Things really popped off in Meereen. We go from Tyrion, Grey Worm, and Missandei telling jokes to total bedlam. Thankfully, Dany returns with Drogon to save the day. I don’t know if we’ll see anymore of Meereen until episode 10, but it’s set up nicely for Yara and Theon to make the rescue.
5. Jaime claims Riverrun. Well, glad we got to see a little bit of The Blackfish, though we didn’t actually see him die. You know what that means in the GoT universe. This was a brilliant ploy by Jaime. Other than that, some interesting dialogue, and Bronn one-liners, this was pretty boring.
6. On to Bastard Bowl. So pumped. It looks like we’re in store for another Hardhome-style episode. It’s going to be an hour solid of Boltons vs. Starks, and hopefully Littlefinger’s going to show up with The Knights of the Vale.
Character Power Rankings:
5. The Masters – Things seem to be going pretty well for the Masters down in Meereen. Oh, about a thousand ships laying waste to the city. Bet they weren’t too happy to see a fucking dragon flying through the air, but hey – for what we saw, they seem to really be in control of things.
4. The High Sparrow – he continues to be a step ahead of Cersei, who is growing increasingly alone. He now has Tommen in the palm of his hands. Big win for him this week.
3. Jaime Lannister – He overtook Riverrun without violence and threw down some chilling dialogue with Edmure Tully. He continues to be the most complex character on the show.
2. Arya Stark – Survived multiple stabbings and being stitched up by an actress to kill her nemesis in complete darkness and announce her freedom. Major points scored here.
1. The Hound – Yeah, he’s been that good since his return. He’s definitely up there with Hodor and Arya in contention for the season’s MVP. Chopping heads off, burying his ax in dick, and delivering real zingers. What a champion.
Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley,@PFSpot, @WrestlingNewsCo
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