Halloween is in the air. By now, you’re probably putting the finishing touches on your Halloween costumes, but alas – those last-minute party invitations are trickling in. What do you do if your costume is a one-hitter quitter?!?!
Well, you come to the SoBros Network, where we take pride in offering solid, sound life advice to help you live. Halloween is no different. Between all of us, we have a wealth of knowledge and wealth of experience in throwing things together last-minute. So, don’t fret – we’ve got you covered with some hip, yet simple, costume ideas.
You listen to us, and you’re going to be the life of the party.
Honorable mention – “the Clinton body trail” -Cadbury. That’s all we got out of this suggestion from Cadbury. Seems a little dark, but I’m just going to roll with it. Maybe we don’t want any further explanations or ideas of how to bring this idea into practice.
On to the top 10:
10. Kim Kardashian being robbed – I’m not quite sure how you can pull this off. This was one of Roxanne’s contributions, and quite frankly, I’m not too familiar with this story. And no, I’m not researching it. I’m just going to assume that somehow you being nude is required for this costume. Male or female.
9. Draymond Green’s dick – This was my grand contribution to this project, and really, what’s not to love? It’s hilarious. It’s pertinent. You’ll not only be able to make people laugh, but you’ll also be able to hype the beginning of the NBA season. A smushed tootsie roll could be used for reference.
8. Beard/Pubic Hair – I don’t know what any of us were expecting when we asked for Brandon’s input on this project…”What about wearing brown shredded carpet….can go as a beard or pubic hair?” -The man himself.
7. Ryan Lochte – Another contribution from Roxanne. This one would be really easy to pull off as far as the actual costume, but would be a huge time commitment in shaving down your entire body. That is, unless, you’re going for “gas station brawl” Ryan Lochte, or “bolted Brazil leaving my friends behind” Ryan Lochte.
6. Pepe the Frog – “Pepe the Frog – which was a meme and Hillary (Clinton) thinks is the symbol of racism now.” -Roxanne. Truth. Look it up. Might be a bit impractical – I don’t know how well cartoons translate into costumes, but with the right amount of green paint and manufactured bug eyes, you might be able to pull it off.
5. The wall from Stranger Things – At this point, Roxanne is simply running point on this project….check it out. This is actually a really good costume idea and I refuse to crack any jokes about it.
4. Alligator – Topical and humorous, Cadbury checks in with a doozy….”I’m gonna go as the latest Disney attraction, the Gator in the Hotel Pond.” In no way, shape, or form is this too soon. Just the right amount of time has passed for America to find this situation funny.
3. Ken Bone – This is probably one of the easiest and most topical costumes you can pull off this season. All you need is a snug red sweater vest and some glasses.
2. Harambe
1. Donald Trump – All of our conversations on Halloween costumes begin and end with Donald Trump. There’s just so many directions to take it in. Roxanne thinking about all of the couples out there, suggested #nastywoman and #badhombre, Trump & Vladimir Putin (personally, my favorite couples suggestion), or Trump and a vagina.
Cadbury was gracious enough to expand on that final idea, and I’m going to provide you all with a peek behind the curtain at the SoBros Slack (#TeamSlack4Days #LoveIt #LoveSlack):
You can’t manufacture this type of team camaraderie. I’ll leave you with this final variation of the Trump costume:
“The Trump grabbing pussy costume could actually be accomplished pretty easily. Dress as Trump, attach stuffed-animal cats to hands. Done.”
-Cadbury Pringlebatch, ladies and gentlemen.
Happy Halloween, y’all!
Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, Contributor to FanSided’s Bama Hammer, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @PFSpot, @WrestlingNewsCo, @Bama_Hammer
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