Another winning weekend in the books for Big Natural, but honestly, I’m a little shaky. Why? Shit, man – we’re running out of football season! I’m running out of opportunity to save this season and tally a W for the year. I’ve never had a losing year, in my 5 years of picking games. I’ve always won, because that’s what natural born winners do.
You think George Washington was mediocre at determining what land should go to which colony? You think Steve Jobs built Microsoft and America Online by building an average Internet? Or, what about Frodo Baggins? You think he would be the greatest explorer in documented history if he just took average strolls through The Shire? No. GTFO.
That’s what I’m faced with right now. I know the world is watching with bated breath as I attempt to claw my way out of this deficit. I don’t think I’m in danger of having to butt-chug Jack Daniel’s like I said I would, but man – I’m starting to cut it close.
I need a knockout, undefeated streak, and well, there’s always next week. That’s how gambling works, right? You lose. You just pick up the pieces and gamble your way out of it. That’s called hard work, people.
Big Natural’s Picks
NFL: New Orleans-Carolina, OVER 52 – Do I even need to break this one down? Neither of these two teams can stop the big play. This is easy money.
NCAAF: Miami -3 @ NC State – I know that no one with two sets of eyes can trust Miami to go on the road and beat any opponent of substance. But, this line is the result of the Wolfpack beating up on a middling Syracuse team and hanging tight with Florida State. The Hurricanes have the talent to win this one by 10.
NFL: Buffalo +3 @ Cincinnati – Monday night took a lot out of the Bengals. The AFC North is still winnable, but in this showdown between teams whose seasons are slipping away, I like a desperate Rex Ryan and Tyrod Taylor.
NCAAF: Texas Tech -3 @ Iowa State – I’m sorry, but the Cyclones get this kind of spread after hanging on to beat Kansas? No way – the Red Raiders will ride Kliff Kingsbury’s handsomeness to a huge win, and Big Natural has an excuse to post his pretty face on a column.
NFL: Miami +1 @ Los Angeles – Consider this my official buy-in on the Dolphins. They’re beginning to look like a real threat in the AFC race. Plus, the Rams can’t score points. Miami’s defense is pretty solid. All the ingredients here for a Jarvis Landry runaway.
NCAAF: Oklahoma -3 @ West Virginia – I don’t feel good about going with so many road teams, but the Sooners are absolutely rolling and the jury’s still kind of out on the Mountaineers. Oklahoma is the only Big 12 team with remote playoff hopes, and those are kept alive only by chaos potential. They’ll be motivated Saturday.
NCAAF: Tulsa -1.5 @ UCF – Again with the road teams. I’m setting myself up for disaster, but this is what happens when I go with my gut. Tulsa is competing for an American Conference championship, while UCF is just happy to qualify for a bowl game. Two teams on different levels here.
NCAAF: Georgia Southern -2.5 @ Georgia State – It wouldn’t be Tank the 401k without some Sun Belt talk. Georgia Southern has to win out to qualify for a bowl game, but this is one of Georgia’s most-heated rivalries. The records go out the window here. Still, I like the bruising Eagles over the 2-8 Panthers big here.
NFL: Oakland -6 vs. Houston – It’s time for someone to remind Houston that they can’t hang with elite AFC teams. Is Oakland elite yet? That remains to be seen, but the defense will rattle Brock Osweiler, and Derek Carr will slice and dice the Texans defense.
Last Week: 4-3-1
On the Season: 34-45-3 (43.1%)
Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, Contributor to FanSided’s Bama Hammer, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @PFSpot, @WrestlingNewsCo, @Bama_Hammer
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