For a long time, I’ve been thinking that Santa Claus has an awful lot of opportunity to do more good in the world than just delivering snot-nosed kids gifts one night a year. I mean, just think about what he could do with the technology he has, all that magic, and an army of elves to do his bidding.
Well, looks like Santa decided to get woke, and when you want to do more good in the world, where do you start?
Peru.
Courtesy of CBS News – “Santa came early to one house in Peru’s capital… a whole team of Santas, and they skipped the chimney entirely, choosing instead knock on the front door — really, really hard.
Unfortunately for the small band of alleged drug dealers inside, the Santas were actually anti-narcotics officers and, instead of leaving presents, they left the Lima residence with bags of evidence and four suspects in custody.
Peruvian police suspected the building was being used as a center for the distribution of cocaine to criminal gangs and directly to the public, according to the Reuters news agency.
They swept in on Tuesday, allegedly seizing more than 4,500 wrappings usually used for cocaine paste.
The officer in charge told Reuters the Santa Claus costumes were employed to help boost the raid team’s element of surprise.”
Ah, shit – I misread this. Probably should’ve actually read the story before deciding to write about it. It wasn’t actually Santa. It was a team of undercover Peruvian cops busting up a drug house. Alright, I’m already dedicated. Just gotta power through.
So, this imagery is ten times more terrifying than anything I’ve ever seen Santa doing before. I’m aware that this isn’t how The Purge worked, but that’s what I keep picturing. Just the wildest scene you can imagine – just garbage strewn about, people openly doing drugs, someone being beaten with a tire iron in the living room, and TONS of titties out. Then, here comes a bunch of Santas with badges opening fire on the whole lot of ’em. Don’t think that’s exactly how this went down, but that’s my wild imagination for ya!
I’m guessing this kind of thing happens a lot – the cops had to resort to dressing as Santa to get back the element of surprise. Because that was their ticket into this place….not, oh I don’t know – that they’re the fucking cops and can just bash the door in. Plus, this is Peru we’re talking about – it’s not like they have to worry about any sort of laws. Pretty sure that’s the land of the lawless down there.
Also, CBS News dropped some solid Christmas humor in this piece. “Santa came early…” “…they skipped the chimney entirely…” “…instead of leaving presents…” Good on you for keeping this piece light.
Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, Contributor to FanSided’s Bama Hammer, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @PFSpot, @WrestlingNewsCo, @Bama_Hammer
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