Ohhhhhh good ol’ Joey Porter is at it again. Bakersfield’s prodigal son just being his self with the man trying to bring him down. I’m not sure how else Porter was supposed to celebrate the Steelers victory over the Dolphins, but alas – I have to do my job here and report the news. News is news, after all.
Courtesy of ESPN – “The Steelers have placed assistant coach Joey Porter on leave following his arrest Sunday night outside a Pittsburgh bar.
Porter, an outside linebackers coach and former Pro Bowl player for the Steelers, was charged early Monday with assaulting a doorman at a bar and a police officer who intervened hours after the team’s wild-card win over the Miami Dolphins.”
I’ve never played or coached a down of football in the NFL, so it’s hard for me to be too critical here, y’know? Like, maybe if I had Porter’s pedigree, assaulting doormen and cops would seem like the obviously most reasonable way to celebrate a big win like beating a team with a rookie head coach and a backup quarterback. Gotta be fair here – I’ve never walked a mile in Porter’s shoes, so I won’t judge too hard.
I’ve done some pretty wild things to celebrate. One time, I spilled Miller Lite on the living room floor because I was drinking it like Stone Cold Steve Austin. I figure it’s a level of competition thing – if I’m doing that watching television, it has to be infinitely amplified if you’re actually doing shit at the NFL level. So, naturally, assaulting a cop is the next step up, right?
“Last time you were here, you threatened to kill me,” Abel overheard the doorman saying to Porter. “You need to leave. You are not getting in.”
Note to self: if you threaten to kill a doorman, they might remember it the next time you show up at the bar.
“Abel, the 5-foot-6, 145-pound officer who filed the complaint, said Porter, 6-3 and 260 pounds, ignored him when he asked what was going on, and that Porter grabbed the doorman by the arms and lifted him off the ground. The doorman, described as 6 foot and 195 pounds, wasn’t aggressive with Porter and had his hands in his pockets, according to the complaint.
Props to this doorman – if someone lifted me off the ground, I would grab the nearest foreign object – brass knuckles, ring bell, steel chair, whatever.
Abel said he pulled Porter away from the doorman. That’s when Porter grabbed the officer’s wrists “so tightly that I could not pull them away from him, no matter how hard I tried,” the complaint said.
Porter backed away but then refused to put his hands behind his back.
Porter eventually allowed himself to be handcuffed but yelled, “You’re lying, I never touched you,” as Abel arrested him, the complaint said.
Porter was charged with aggravated assault on the officer, simple assault on the doorman, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct, defiant trespass and public drunkenness. Physical contact with a police officer is automatically charged as aggravated assault in Pennsylvania, even if the nature of the alleged conduct would constitute simple assault against a regular citizen.
Online court records don’t list an attorney for Porter, who posted $25,000 bond and faces a preliminary hearing Jan. 19 in Pittsburgh City Court.”
Not exactly sure what that means, but it’s a lot of fucking text about the stupid shit Porter did, so I’m guessing he’s in a lot of hot water.
“He has had multiple run-ins with the law in the past, including a 2010 arrest for suspicion of drunken driving and an accusation of assaulting a police officer and resisting arrest. Those charges, filed in his hometown of Bakersfield, California, were eventually dropped.”
Just Joey Porter being Joey Porter. How come it’s okay for Manny Ramirez to just be Manny Ramirez? “Oh, that’s just Manny being Manny!” But, when you assault police officers, drive drunk, and resist arrest, suddenly being yourself is frowned upon!
Remember when Porter was inexplicably on the field during last year’s Bengals-Steelers playoff meltdown? Ah, just Joey being Joey! Wonder how many cops he grabbed that night….regardless, nobody summed this up better than the esteemed Pacman Jones:
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zs4M2iwF7PE]
Anyway, this dude could not be further from a beacon of virtue. He’s brash, cocky, and absolutely does not have the pedigree to back it up.
Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, Contributor to FanSided’s Bama Hammer, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @PFSpot, @WrestlingNewsCo, @Bama_Hammer
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